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Monday, May 16, 2016

"I Don't Get You" (Sherry Graf)

TITLE: I Don't Get You: A Guide to Healthy Conversations
AUTHOR: Sherry Graf
PUBLISHER: Colorado Springs, CO: NavPress, 2016, (80 pages).

What is sexual purity? Why is it important? How can one maintain a healthy conversation on the topic on sexuality? Can we relate constructively with the opposite sex without having the feeling of butterflies in our stomachs? Is it really possible to have emotional purity in our hearts? The key thesis of this book is that we need to learn to guard our hearts and to maintain purity in our relationships. Proverbs 4:23 teaches us: "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." Be connected first to God before trying others. Any intimate relationship with people needs to flow out of that reverent relationship with God. This guide shows us not one but FIVE conversation categories.

The first category is BIO-DATA which deals more with facts about the person. This can be questions about hobbies, likings, family, and interests. This category of questions can be fun especially when individuals are genuinely curious about the other person.

The second category is TESTIMONY where one asks about the faith journey of the other person. Stick with facts. If possible, keep the conversations at a group level. Questions like, "When did you become a Christian?" or "How did you get to know about Jesus?" can often help us understand the faith aspects.

The third category is DREAMS which is about the person's ambition and goals. One can learn what makes that person tick. It is about vocational choice, career goals, and important pursuits a growing person will need to tackle.

The fourth category is FEARS which can range from phobia of various things to fears surrounding broken relationships.

The fifth category is DEEPEST HURTS which is very revealing and makes the other person vulnerable. It covers regrets, wounds, and pains.

Apart from these five categories, we learn about the levels of intimacy with respect to discussing each particular categories. There are tips on learning not to share too much too fast; not to defraud others emotionally; dating tips; and finally emotional purity and marriage.

Personally, the five categories are already worth the price of this book. It gives us a good way to structure our conversations, learning the do's and don'ts of communications, and how not to become too intimate too quickly. A healthy conversation needs to be respectful. With this book, readers would learn how to do just that.

Rating: 4 stars of 5.


This book is provided to me courtesy of Tyndale House Publishers, NavPress, and NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. All opinions offered above are mine unless otherwise stated or implied.

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