"What Does Your Soul Love?" (Gem Fadling and Alan Fadling)

TITLE: What Does Your Soul Love?: Eight Questions That Reveal God's Work in You
AUTHOR: Gem Fadling and Alan Fadling
PUBLISHER: Downers Grove, IL: Inter-Varsity Press, 2019, (220 pages).

In order to grow, one needs to change. In order to change for the better, one needs to be willing to be formed. In order to be formed, one needs to be transformed from the inside out. If we want to grow, we need to be changed from the inside out. Often, we need to be challenged into making a decision to be changed. It does not come easy, as Gem shared her struggle with the question whether she would be willing to give up her husband. The the question represents the dark room, the answer provides the light waiting to illuminate the room. Using Thomas Kelly's reflection as a guide, this book essentially helps us connect our mental levels with a more profound inner level through "fruitful interplay." The eight questions proposed by the authors form the framework to enable such interactions. Authors Gem and Alan Fadling lists a few other questions to expand on this. These eight probing questions are:

1. What do you really want? (Your Desire)
2. What is getting in your way? (Your Resistance)
3. Where are you hiding? (Your Vulnerability)
4. What is most real to you? (Your Truth)
5. How are you suffering? (Your Pain)
6. What are you afraid of? (Your Fear)
7. What are you clinging to? (Your Control)
8. What does your soul love? (Your Joy)

Undergirding these questions is the fundamental truth of first being loved and beloved by God. This is the anchor from which all of our affections and desires proceed from. If God had not loved us first, how would we know what love is in the first place? God is the Initiator while we are the respondents. The authors remind us that transformation is never something we can do to ourselves. It is about our willingness to be changed. Using their experience and knowledge as spiritual directors, Gem and Alan help us along with asking simple basic questions. They supply us with "process words" to learn new ways to describe the spiritual orientations; exercises to enable us to practice; and reflection questions to challenge us.

The first question about desire begins with pace. We need to slow ourselves down to the pace that we need instead of being rushed about by external forces. Sometimes, when we pause for a reflective moment, we will begin to see that much of life is vanity. Then we will be prompted to ask what do we really want in life. This first step reminds us of the distinction Jesus made when he contrasts Mary's devotion to Him and Martha's harried behaviour. The second question tackles the barriers preventing us from being willing to change. Inner resistance is one of the hardest hurdles to overcome. The authors remind us that resistance to change is an impediment to growth and transformation. The third question deals with our vulnerability, to expose what we tend to hide. Until we learn to be honest before God, we will have trouble being honest with people, including ourselves. The fourth question is about differentiating the reality from fantasy. They contrast "relief" from "healing." Frequently, we mistake the former when what we really need is the latter. Like an able spiritual director, the authors guide us back to God. Then we are faced with the reality of the fifth question: "How are you suffering?" This is a sensitive phase as doubts may creep into our awareness of God's love. Truth is, pain is a signal that something is out of whack, and the way forward is toward healing, and spiritually, this means either reconciliation or renewal in God. The sixth question is about fear, especially when we feel alone. We need to then learn to realize God's presence with us and not allow false perceptions to deceive us. The seventh question reminds us to let go and let God.  It is about faith and trust. If God is Lord, He must be Lord over all. Finally, the eighth question shows us the reason for it all: Joy. The authors remind us that the process of transformation is an ongoing one.

My Thoughts
These eight questions are gently dealt with in each brief chapter. One thing to note is that the book is less about answers but more about questions to help us locate the answers we need. Instead of probing the book for gems like a microscope, we ought to read the book like a mirror of our searching heart. Let the words guide us to ask the appropriate questions about our current status, our existing lifestyle, our desires, and more importantly, about ourselves. The key words throughout this book are the words "change" and "transformation." While the words may be different, their orientation is the same. Let me share three thoughts about the book.

First, motivation is needed to change. It has often been said: "Where there is a will, there is a way." This is about motivation to do something. The soul of the Christian faith is essentially about the love of God in Christ, to be loved, and called to share the love of God with all. This central motivation is the key to understanding the Christian faith. Sometimes, it is helpful to turn this question around to ask: Who is the One we truly love? What is it that we really desire in life? These questions can help to reveal our inner longings of the heart. For the revelation of these desires will help us face them head on.

Second, the key to any transformation is the willingness to change. No matter how much motivational exercises we do, if the heart is not triggered, there will be no progress. Sometimes, this needs some push, but more importantly, we need to be open to the working of the Spirit in our lives. Spiritual transformation is never something that is actively pursued by us. We need to let the Spirit work in us. Like what Jesus taught Nicodemus about being born again, as likened to the movement of the Spirit. Where it comes nobody knows where it comes from and where it is going. Being willing to change is about faith in God and trust that He knows what is best for us.

Third, use this book as a primer toward spiritual direction first rather than transformation. The questions asked may be too simple for some or overly intimidating for others. Nevertheless, take each question and pace ourselves to answer it. When the going gets tough, try another way to approach the question.

This is a wonderful book to help us distill the essence about our spiritual life.

Alan Fadling is president and founder of Unhurried Living, a ministry based in Mission Viejo, California that helps people to "rest deeper, live fuller, and lead better." Apart from just being spiritual director He has consulted widely including Saddleback Church, Open Doors International, InterVarsity Christian Fellowship, and several others.

Gem Fadling is wife to Alan, and is a co-founder of the same ministry.


Rating: 4.5 stars of 5.

conrade

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This book has been provided courtesy of Inter-Varsity Press and NetGalley without requiring a positive review. All opinions offered above are mine unless otherwise stated or implied.