"To the Tenth Generation" (Ray & Jani Ortlund)

TITLE: To the Tenth Generation God’s Heart for Your Family, Far into the Future
AUTHOR: Jani Ortlund and Ray Ortlund
PUBLISHER: Brentwood, TN: B&H Publishing, 2024, (192 pages).
 

There is an ancient Chinese saying: "富不過三代." In other words, the wealth or the family's material well-being will not last beyond three generations. If we look at statistics among businesses founded by Chinese families, this seems to be largely true. For many Christian parents, one of the major concerns of faith is whether their faith can be passed on successfully to future generations. Each generation has its own challenges to overcome. What about faith or faith matters? Will it falter by the third generation? As far as the Christian faith is concerned, faith is a gift to be passed down from generation to generation. Using Deuteronomy 23:2-3 as an inspirational springboard, authors Ray and Jani Ortlund believe that God will bless families with every spiritual blessing from one generation to the next. We just need to join God in this holy endeavor. With this in mind, they help us journey through the perspectives of marriage, family, parenting, and grandparenting. Written in three parts, the authors point out ways to share the faith in the family, in our homes, and for many future generations. They call this book an "investment proposal." Part One begins with a call to think beyond our own shells. "Bigger thoughts grow bigger faith" is the mantra. Calling us to keep following Jesus and to use our lives as examples for our descendants, they believe that as long as we live our lives faithfully for God while we can, God can use our lives and legacies to form future generations. God uses us as channels of influence. They pay particular attention to marriages because our children pattern their lives after what they see in their parents. 

"Signals" (Cherilyn Orr)

TITLE: Signals: How Brain Science and the Bible Help Parents Raise Resilient Children
AUTHOR: Cherilyn Orr
PUBLISHER: Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House Publishers, 2022, (224 pages).
 

What is the connection between brain science and child development?  Can this help us in parenting our children? If so, how much? How does stress affect children's behaviour? Based on her learning from "The Spotlight Approach" ministry, author Cherilyn Orr shares powerful insights about how brain science can help us in our parenting. Using the Red, Yellow, and Green colour method, we learn about what it takes to move from an aggressive and chaotic red to a calm green. This has benefits not only for the individual parent or child but also for the whole family. Recognizing signals from the brain is a big step up toward greater understanding. At the same time, being aware of a brain's neuroplasticity helps in reminding us about acceptance and healthy tolerance. Orr describes the different parts of the brain and their functions to give us an overview of their operations. She then goes on to describe the different colour signals used. Red Brain means there's anger and overwhelmed state of emotion which requires parents to stay calm and gentle. Yellow Brain means the child is in a state of irritability and parents should then slow down and focus on connecting with them, to make them feel valued. Green Brain signals readiness to learn. By becoming effective brain detectives, parents will then be able to adjust their parenting strategies and emotions accordingly. Following that, readers will get to dig deeper into the purposes, the processes, and the parenting strategies associated with each of these signals.

"The Loss of a Grandparent to Covid-19" (Marion Donon)

TITLE: The loss of a grandparent to Covid-19, Gramps.: A short story to read to your children to help them through this difficult moment.
AUTHOR: Marion Donon
PUBLISHER: Give Me A Hug Collection, 2020, (21 pages).

This is a fictional story of a conversation between a mother and her son, who has just lost his grandfather. Written at the start of the pandemic, it was meant to support those going through emotional grief and physical strain, especially those affected directly by Covid-19. Due to time constraints, pictures and illustrations were pulled in order to facilitate a quick completion of the book. As the author says, the book is not about grief or bereavement. It is written like a story to reach out to children and parents on how best to talk about Covid-19 and the meaning of death and dying. 

It is never easy to talk to kids about "adult" topics such as death and dying. They are too young to understand what it means to leave this world. At the same time, death could impact anybody at any time. If we wait until it is too late, we would have missed out teaching moments or precious opportunities to show children early that life is not all play and fun. Life is hard and the earlier we prepare ourselves for it, the better. Covid-19 has impacted all parts of society. From the daily news updates about the pandemic to the continued wide media coverage about the coronavirus statistics, children in this generation would have heard of all these terms. Even if we try to avoid letting them know, they might be curious enough to ask and then to wonder about how it impacts them and their families. One of the best tried-and-tested methods is to use the power of stories. This way to communications help us be honest with our own feelings in an indirect manner. Stories give us words to share our thoughts and feelings in a non-threatening manner. They enable readers, and in this case, parents and their children to be on the same page as they openly discuss and talk about the meaning of loss. Some of the questions include:

• Why couldn't I go and see him in the hospital, Mommy?
• Why was the coffin already closed?
• Do you miss him?
• Mommy, why are you crying?
• Was he afraid?
• Where do you think he is now?
• Am I going to die too, Mommy?
• ....

The questions could have been more, but the way the author puts it makes it simple enough for parents to raise additional questions with their children and easy enough for children to follow along. Parents would think: "Hey, I could do that too!" Children would be free to ask their own set of questions as well. As I ponder on this book, I am glad that someone has written something to address children and how the prolonged coronavirus pandemic would impact them one way or another, sooner or later, directly or indirectly.

A former actress and director, with a masters in clinical psychology, Marion Donon now devotes her energy to children’s literature, while raising two small children of her own. She divides her time between France and the United States. 

Rating: 4 stars of 5.

conrade

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This book has been provided courtesy of Marion Donon and NetGalley without requiring a positive review. All opinions offered above are mine unless otherwise stated or implied.

"The End of Youth Ministry?" (Andrew Root)

TITLE: The End of Youth Ministry?: Why Parents Don't Really Care about Youth Groups and What Youth Workers Should Do about It (Theology for the Life of the World)
AUTHOR: Andrew Root
PUBLISHER: Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Academic, 2020, (240 pages).

What is youth ministry for? What is its purpose? Some say it is for helping young people not waste their lives, to learn to be good people. Others say it is for God. Still, others, especially parents would want them to learn something good for the soul, on top of other priority activities. Still there are those who think that youths need their own space. So they carve out a ministry for young people and call it youth ministry. Does it work? According to Andrew Root, he thinks that times have changed. The youth ministries we have known in the past are now dwindling fast. Not only is it difficult to sustain the model of the past, it is impossible to see it growing in the future. Rather than to immerse ourselves into some archaic dying model, we are challenged to rise above these things of old to embrace the central motivation for ministry: Joy. Author and professor of youth and young adult ministry, Andrew Root has seen many signs of the "somewhat directionless" youth ministry. The title of the book is essentially a challenge for all to re-examine the implications of such a shift in the ministry. The purpose of such a ministry is clear: To reach out to the young for Jesus. Yet, the methods and strategies need to be adapted in order to meet the needs of changing times. By understanding the reasons behind the cultural changes, it is hoped that not only will we refresh our outreach to this generation, we will also learn about what it means to live a good life. The central concern of this book is two-fold: First, it is to refresh our understanding of the purpose of youth ministry. Second, it is to tie together parents' vision of a good life and how such a vision influences and impacts their children. Root's central thesis is that any such ministry must be led by joy and to progress toward true joy. This whole book is thus an "ode to joy."

"Labor With Hope" (Gloria Furman)

TITLE: Labor with Hope: Gospel Meditations on Pregnancy, Childbirth, and Motherhood
AUTHOR: Gloria Furman
PUBLISHER: Wheaton, IL: Crossway Publishers, 2019, (160 pages).

Brother Lawrence taught us about the spirituality of practicing the presence of God. Paul Stevens and others promote the spirituality of work and the marketplace. Mike Mason shows us spirituality of practicing the presence of people. Seminarians remind us about the spirituality of study and research. What about the spirituality of childbirth? Gloria Furman advocates the following: "Jesus has everything to do with everything, including our spiritual nourishment in pregnancy and childbirth." In this book, she not only describes the spiritual connection in the present, she also shows us how these "point us to eternal realities." These two aspects are expressed in every chapter. From the creative narrative in Genesis, Furman shows us how the human procreation act is derived from God's creative initiative. Men and women are image bearers of God, and children born are image bearers of their parents as well. All of us are called to be fruitful and multiply for this is the very character of God. Fertility reminds us of fruitfulness and how our endeavours point us to God's glory that is to come. On childbirth pains, we learn from Scripture that it is because of the curse of sin. When God said "I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing," we learn that it is not restricted to simply the birth moment. It is a part of the whole area of judgment because of sin. More importantly, it tells us our need for a savior. This is where the title of the book describes this paradox: Labouring in pain without losing hope. While recognizing the reality of pain, Furman also shows us the significance of hope. Like babies, we cannot deliver ourselves. In parenting, we learn how tough it is to bring up children. Even as we grapple with the seriousness of sin and evil, we also see the power of the gospel to deliver us from sin and death. Forgiveness through the gospel stretches far and wide, even to those who had undergone abortion.

"Peaceful Mom" (April Cassidy)

TITLE: Peaceful Mom: Building a Healthy Foundation with Christ as Lord
AUTHOR: April Cassidy
PUBLISHER: Grand Rapids, MI: Kregel Publications, 2018, (336 pages).

Following her popular book about being a "Peaceful Wife," author and mother, April Cassidy has written one for being a "peaceful mom." The title itself suggests several things about the needs of mothers. They need some way to establish calm amid the many challenging demands on the responsibilities and expectations of a mother. They need guidance, especially new mothers, about what it takes to maintain balance between their roles as mothers, wives, and other social roles. They need peace with themselves too because some of the hardest expectations come not from without but within. This is what this book is about. It is about restoring serenity within the mother's heart, the security for the children, sanctity for the faith, and sanity for the self. The key: A mom who "knows God intimately and follows Him wholeheartedly." This central theme helps the mom to trust God with all of her circumstances; to trust God for her future; to trust God in all of life. Genuine peace must always begin with God. After all God is the Author of True Peace. There is a need to examine our own hearts to ask who or what we worship. If we are after our own expectations, probably we are what we worship. If we are after God's heart, it is God we are worshiping. This may seem obvious but it is hugely necessary. It is the anxiety behind the activities that often drive mothers to do what they thought was good for their family. Over the long run, this Trojan horse of fleshly anxiety breeds worry, discontentment, exhaustion, and eventually disillusionment with parenting. Examine the heart for any idols to be dethroned. There can be no two masters remember?

"Mending Broken Branches" (Elizabeth Oates)

TITLE: Mending Broken Branches: When God Reclaims Your Dysfunctional Family Tree
AUTHOR: Elizabeth Oates
PUBLISHER: Grand Rapids, MI: Kregel Publications, 2017, (240 pages).

Marriages break up. Divorces happen. Children suffer the consequences. Can we escape from our past? Maybe. Will we be free to live well in the present? That depends on how we are healed. In spite of the high place of family in society, these are some of the modern struggles family go through. It pretty much describes the landscape of the cliché: “No family is perfect.” While that is true, it is also true that some families are more imperfect than others. This is often what society means when they say “dysfunctional families.” Writing from her own broken background and a determination to heal from her wounds, author Elizabeth Oates uses the planting metaphor to help us make sense of our past, our present, and our future. The purpose in this book is three-fold. First, we are given the space to grieve our past. Second, we learn to be equipped to deal with our present circumstances. Third, we are encouraged to build a healthy and hopeful future.

Part One helps us work through our past to find our true significance in Christ instead of the “transactional relationship” with Santa Claus. Readers will learn about being bold to open the dreaded Pandora’s Box of any shame in the past. Oates uses a familiar plant model to craft out our past. There is the root of the problem which is a failure to find our significance in Christ alone. There is a need for pruning, where we tackle head-on the heavy baggage from the past. Our family of origin is not to be blamed or praised but accepted. The sprouting willows and branches are like opportunities and spaces for us to acknowledge our past. Just like a branch that can grow in any direction, once we are safely anchored on a trunk, we grieve with all the space we need. We need not feel alone because we are not the only ones that have baggage from the past. Every family do. Slowly but surely, we learn to let go and move forward. Whether it is shame or lost childhood; failed dreams or broken realities; the positive thing to do is to acknowledge our various stages of grief. Here, Oates uses Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’s five stages of grief model. It would have been better if the author had acknowledged this in a footnote but I suppose the model is popular enough for most people. This journey to the past ends in the embrace of the Heavenly Gardener, God Himself.

"The Tech-Wise Family" (Andy Crouch)

TITLE: The Tech-Wise Family: Everyday Steps for Putting Technology in Its Proper Place
AUTHOR: Andy Crouch
PUBLISHER: Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books, 2017, (226 pages).

Whenever there is anything latest and greatest, not only will there be hype, there will also be concerns about how it will affect relationships both present and future. Some would harp back at the "good old days" and dismiss the vogue of the day. Others would do the reverse, committing the error of what CS Lewis has called as "chronological snobbery," where the newest trends are deemed better than the past. Both are poor responses to changing cultural forces. The way forward is neither abandonment or careless acceptance. It is wisdom. This wisdom includes the appropriate ways to work with rather than abandon technology. It means putting technology in its proper place instead of letting it set our pace. It is knowing about what the new movements are, what are the sources, and how best we can respond. In Culture Making, Andy Crouch critiques the two conventional approaches of culture. The first is unwitting acceptance while the second is unnecessary rejection. He then argues for the path of creative culture making. This book follows up on such a mindset. Instead of totally embracing or rejecting technology in our digital world, we need to learn to be wise in our use of technology. In a survey of parents with regard to the difficulties of modern parenting, technology tops the list of parenting concerns.

Crouch writes:

"Belonging and Becoming" (Mark and Lisa Scandrette)

TITLE: Belonging and Becoming: Creating a Thriving Family Culture
AUTHOR: Mark and Lisa Scandrette
PUBLISHER: Downers Grove, IL: IVP, 2016, (240 pages).

Ask anybody what is the most important thing in their lives, and there is a good chance that it would be this: Family. Who doesn't want to have a closely knit loving family? Who would give anything for their families to thrive? Speaking of family is one thing. Achieving it is another. In fact, many people who wanted to have start a family begin well but spluttered along the way. Perhaps, we just need some help and mentoring to get our own families on track toward thriving instead of mere surviving.  For Mark and Lisa Scandrette, their journey started when they stopped to reflect about choices that they could make for the sake of the family. They took the time to intentionally explore new possibilities. They also resolve to take steps to make that into reality. In two words, they bring out the essence of what it means to thrive: Belonging and Becoming. Give children a sense of belonging and empower them toward becoming the best they could ever be. They define the thriving family as follows:

"A thriving family is a place of belonging and becoming, where each person feels safe, cared for and loved, and is supported to develop who they are for the good of the world."

"Small Matters" (Greg Nettle and Jimmy Mellado)

TITLE: Small Matters: How Churches and Parents Can Raise Up World-Changing Children (Exponential Series)
AUTHOR: Greg Nettle and Jimmy Mellado
PUBLISHER: Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2016, (192 pages).

If youths are the future of the leadership of society, then what about those who are on the way to becoming youths themselves? In two words, the authors of this book have crystallized the importance: "Small matters." I would add, "It matters indeed!" Just like every little girl is a princess and every little boy a prince, everyone of us as children of God are royalty in the making. Taking issue at how young children are being ignored, abandoned, abused, and even manipulated, Greg Nettle and Jimmy Mellado believe that we must love and care for children in the same way Jesus did. For we battle not just against physical poverty but emotional, mental, and physical aspects too. From broken marriages to material greed, children are often helpless when they are suffering from the fallouts of flawed adult decisions. At the same time, there are external threats like gunmen shooting schoolchildren and terrorism that lurks at increasingly more places in our society. The authors' conviction is that every child needs a Church.