"The Negativity Remedy" (Nicole J. Phillips)

TITLE: The Negativity Remedy: Unlocking More Joy, Less Stress, and Better Relationships Through Kindness
AUTHOR: Nicole J. Phillips
PUBLISHER: Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books, 2020, (176 pages).

In a broken world, how can we create more joy, less stress, and better relationships? How can we identify the negativity in us that threatens to create more negativity outside? Beginning with a confession of her own tendency toward meanness, author Nicole Phillips invites us to battle own own "inner meanie" and to put on kindness. Avoid the trap of thinking that the world is against us when it is simply this means deception within us that is saying that. Essentially, this book is about turning over a new leaf in terms of our own behavior. We might not be able to change other people but we can definitely change our own selves, especially on how to respond to any circumstances. We can curtail any tendency to be mean and to cultivate our ability to be kind. How do we do that? That is the main purpose of this book.

Phillips learned personally the power of kindness and how the capacity for kindness will never be exhausted. For those who finds that incredible or hard to believe, Phillips recommends that we learn to do some soul searching to discover the inner meanie in us. Nip that in the bud and we should be on our way to kindness. She gives scientific evidence on the benefits of showing kindness, how it releases feel-good chemicals in our body: Endorphins, Serotonin, Dopamine, and Oxytocin.

"The Mr Rogers Effect" (Dr. Anita Knight Kuhnley)

TITLE: The Mister Rogers Effect: 7 Secrets to Bringing Out the Best in Yourself and Others from America's Beloved Neighbor
AUTHOR: Dr. Anita Knight Kuhnley
PUBLISHER: Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books, 2020, (208 pages).

He has been called "America's Hero." Others call him a brilliant educator. In this book, he is called "America's Beloved Neighbour." He is best known for his children's TV program called "Mister Rogers' Neighborhood." His life has also inspired the making of a 2019 movie played by Tom Hanks, "A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood." What spurred the author to write this book was Rogers's ability to connect with people. She marvels at how Rogers minister to an inner-city kid dealing with anger issues, and lamenting about how they need a Mr Rogers in their neighbourhood. She examines Rogers's careful words to reach out to a young boy on a wheelchair extending care beyond the boy to the doctors and nurses who cared for him. What was more amazing was that 18 years later, they still reconnected with much warmth and love. This and many more are highlights of Mr Rogers amazing life. There is much to learn from Rogers's life. Author Anita Kuhnley contributes to this by going on a quest to discover how to translate Mr Roger's positive influence into some helpful tools and strategies that we can use in our daily lives. Thanks to her training in psychology and qualitative research skills, she combs the resources about the legendary Fred McFeely Rogers, and how his influence had impacted lives both young and old. The key trademark is how Mr Rogers spoke to those of us feeling neglected and lonely. That is because he cares. Using television as a way to reach out to people, Rogers also learns from psychologists and relational experts to hone his skills in communicating care. Rogers credits Dr McFarland for that. Kuhnley gives us an overview of the four types of relational approaches: Secure; Preoccupied; Dismissive; and Unresolved. Apart from the secure child-parent relationship, the other three categories would produce different levels of insecurity in a child. Learning to connect with children and people in these categories is the purpose of Mr Rogers's ministry. Kuhnley does the hard work of digging through the materials and available resources about Mr Rogers and offers up seven "secrets" of Mr Rogers's unique ability to connect with people. The seven secrets mentioned are seven characteristics of what a good neighbour ought to be. These are:

"Your Next 24 Hours" (Hal Donaldson with Kirk Noonan)

TITLE: Your Next 24 Hours: One Day of Kindness Can Change Everything
AUTHOR: Hal Donaldson with Kirk Noonan
PUBLISHER: Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books, 2017, (176 pages).

Who would not like to change the world? Imagine for 24 hours, we would challenge ourselves with the following questions: "What if we were led by kindness and took our eyes off ourselves and focused on the needs of others? What difference could we really make?" This is exactly what the author had done way back in 1984. It was a life-changing experiment that begins with himself. It culminates in the setting up of a global humanitarian relief organization called "Convoy of Hope."  One good thought can lead to a good initiative. One act of kindness can spur another toward kindness to others. One decision to take our eyes off ourselves can launch a new movement of selflessness. Learning to help and to serve others can prove to be a very transformative and satisfying inside. For the author himself has been touched by someone who served his family willingly and sacrificially. The story of Hal Donaldson's family begins tragically with a knock on the door on that fateful August day of 1969. His parents had been in a car that was hit head-on by a drunk driver. His father died and his mum suffered serious injuries. They were then cared for selflessly by another family. Out of the tragedy of ashes rose a determination to be a force to change the world for the better. In one word, this book is about "kindness." It is about how it is not random but intentional; not haphazard but consistent; and definitely not selfishly but sacrificially. It is a humble act with a willing smile.

There is the story of Paul Walker of Fast and Furious fame, helping to buy a wedding ring for a returning soldier. We read of Kate Winslet of Titanic fame working to inspire girls in their self-esteem. Mark Hamill of Star Wars fame also takes time to visit sick children at a local hospital in between promotional appearances for films. Even the act of listening can be a manifestation of kindness. From Mother Teresa to Audrey Hepburn; Bill Gates to reality TV stars; Nelson Mandela to popular sports personality; Donaldson combs society with an eye for kindness, believing that if everyone takes just 24 hours to be conscious of people around them, and to be kind to them, the world will be a much better place than it is today, any day. Filled with stories from famous people about them doing kind deeds, this book not only gives readers a chance to look at their lives from their acts of kindness, but also encourages us to do the same in our own creative ways. Each of the chapters contain five tips for practicing kindness. The beauty of this book is that people do not need to be famous in order to be a star. We can all be stars to light up the world in the hearts of all people. Kindness is not a difficult thing as long as we are able to turn attention away from ourselves. The hurdle of selfdom is the single biggest barrier to us learning to live a more meaningful life. Here are some of the meaningful words from the book.

• "Fulfillment doesn't come from exceeding others; it comes from elevating others.
• Through your kindness, you can change your home, workplace, school, and community. 
• There [is] nothing inherently wrong with wealth and stardom as long as you [don’t] use them to serve only yourself.
• You become famous for kindness by investing your currency and being consistently selfless and caring.
• Personal achievement brings temporary satisfaction; helping others achieve their dreams yields lasting fulfillment.
• The more love you have for yourself, the more love you have to give away.
• Make it a routine to look at your reflection and say, “I love the person God made me.”  
• Kindness is simply helping others by doing what you can with what you have.  

Hal Donaldson is president and co-founder of Convoy of Hope.  He is a graduate of San Jose State University and Bethany University with degrees in Journalism and Biblical Studies. Kirk Noonan also works at Convoy of Hope as vice-president of creative communications.

Rating: 4.5 stars of 5.

conrade

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This book has been provided courtesy of Baker Books and NetGalley without requiring a positive review. All opinions offered above are mine unless otherwise stated or implied.