"Gender as Love" (Fellipe do Vale)

TITLE: Gender as Love: A Theological Account of Human Identity, Embodied Desire, and Our Social Worlds
AUTHOR: Fellipe do Vale
PUBLISHER: Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Academic, 2024, (272 pages).
 

One of the biggest contentions today in the Church has to do with gender. In the past, there used to be constant debates about what it meant to be male or female, and what roles they were supposed to be playing. Then we have the feminist movement that pushes back against male dominance. Those issues remain active in many parts of society but are increasingly eclipsed by debates surrounding multi-gendered definitions and nuanced multi-dimensionally. Today, the line between male and female is increasingly blurred. The core issue is not sexuality but what it means to be human. Realizing that gender issues are becoming more divisive each day, we need to have a way to talk about these matters rationally and theologically. Thus, this book probes the biblical understanding of gender sexuality and tries to make sense of it in an increasingly complex social construct today. Simply put, it is to shed light on the question: "What is gender?" and How do we understand gender theologically? With so many different theological interpretations today, how do we do "theological theology?" Author-Professor Fellipe do Vale kicks off by laying out the categories in terms of two "bifurcations":

1. Divisive Philosophy: Between proponents of gender as "Essence" vs that as "Social Construct."
2. Divided Theology (Methodological): One anchored on modern academic discipline and the other on traditional beliefs.

"When Children Come Out" (Mark A. Yarhouse and Olya Zaporozhets)

TITLE: When Children Come Out: A Guide for Christian Parents
AUTHOR: Mark A. Yarhouse and Olya Zaporozhets
PUBLISHER: Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 2022, (193 pages).
 

Activists hold annual parades to celebrate their sexual orientation. Politicians flaunt their support to garner votes. Many organizations have also enshrined gender equality for all forms of self-identified sexualities. For all the public acceptance, there are still some in the private sphere who are more reserved. For various reasons, there are issues surrounding sexual orientations that individual families and communities need to grapple with. One of the most challenging situations have to deal with conservative parents whose children confess their homosexual orientations, same-sex attractions, or the umbrella term LGBTQ+. This is popularly known as "coming out." Thus the title of this book is essentially about journeying with parents, especially conservative ones, in such situations. How do we nuance our understanding of sexuality without compromising on our biblical faith? How do we communicate such sensitive topics? How do we deal with the experiences from the stage of awareness to the stage of discovery or disclosure? Based on statistical studies as well as personal interviews, authors Mark Yarhouse and Olya Zaporozhets have written this book to guide parents through these stages to facilitate dialogue and mutual understanding. Two parallel journeys are of interest. One of the parents and the other of the child coming out. The focus of this book is on the former. The authors walk us through the process of awareness; seeking help; maintaining the relationship; impact on faith; and how parents can come to terms with reality. Toward the end of the book, there is a chapter about how the Church can help. 

"The Samaritan Woman's Story" (Caryn A. Reeder)

TITLE: The Samaritan Woman's Story: Reconsidering John 4 After ChurchToo
AUTHOR: Caryn A. Reeder
PUBLISHER: Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 2022, (216 pages).
 

One of the many critiques of the Bible is about the patriarchal nature of the ancient culture. Pointing to the unequal status of gender, women throughout biblical history have been painted (or interpreted) in a rather negative light. Many are victims of some male schemes, such as the maidservants of Abraham and Sarah, made to bear children for them. Others include the stories of Dinah, Tamar, Hagar, etc whose lives were either sad or tragic. With the highly male-centric cultural norms at that time, modern readers find it hard to reconcile the stories of women with the biblical truths of grace, fairness, justice, mercy, tolerance, love, etc. The famous story of the adulterous woman exposes a woman to public disgrace while the man (or men!) were nowhere to be found. Wasn't adultery a two-person affair? Why only accuse the woman? Moreover, the Old Testament laws also placed an unfair burden on women as if there was no such thing as sexual equality. Rather than simply accepting the popular cultural narrative of the Bible being sexist against females, biblical scholar Caryn Reeder offers us a new interpretation of the "intersection of women, sex, and sin" as well as an alternative interpretation of the story of the Samaritan woman. 

"Talking with Teens About Sexuality" (Beth Robinson, EdD; and Latayne C. Scott PhD)

TITLE: Talking with Teens about Sexuality
AUTHOR: Beth Robinson, EdD; and Latayne C. Scott PhD
PUBLISHER: Bloomington, MN: Bethany House Publishers, 2021, (208 pages).

Living with Teenagers can be quite an enriching experience, educational too. Not just for teenagers but more so for parents. When asked about what their parents needed to know about "teens and sex," a group of teenagers quickly replied: "Everything!" Indeed, there are many, if not everything, that parents need to know in order to relate to their growing child at an impressionable age. The curious thing is this: Parents have also gone through their respective teen phase. What else do they need to learn? It's the "other" perspective. It is one thing to experience the growing-up phase. It is yet another to be on the receiving side of teenager communications. So for many "clueless" parents, they need help, and they need it badly. For the contexts have changed drastically over the years. Compared to many parents' generation, today's kids have smartphones and ready connectivity to the Internet. Many of them are digital natives. They are also becoming immersed in a liberal culture that challenges many traditions of the past. What was taboo then is acceptable now. What seems reprehensible yesterday is embraced openly today. This is particularly true in the area of sexuality, something that teens battle with as they grapple with raging hormonal changes. The authors list some questions to show us the range of issues with regard to sexuality:

"Christians in a Cancel Culture" (Joe Dallas)

TITLE: Christians in a Cancel Culture: Speaking with Truth and Grace in a Hostile World
AUTHOR: Joe Dallas
PUBLISHER: Eugene, OR: Harvest House Publishers, 2021, (208 pages).

Opposition to the gospel is nothing new. It could be direct persecution, like in the Early Church. It could also be indirect insinuation in the form of cynical comments or sarcasm. Both forms of hostility are alive and well today. While physical persecution happens mostly in closed countries like North Korea, open criticism and condemnation occur daily whenever Christians attempt to speak against worldly values. In the 60s, when Christians speak about a Christian perspective of a particular issue, it was generally accepted in a "business as usual" manner. Then comes the 90s culture of cynicism, where the same issues in the past need to be defended. Apologists grew in number as more people attempted to engage a generation of cynicism. Today, the tide has been turned completely around that Christians no longer can speak about such issues freely. Their rights to expressing the same views of the past are increasingly being "canceled." Author Joe Dallas has been observing such a "cancel culture" trend. He sees how Big Tech is playing the role of censorship to "streamline" views they deem unsuitable. At the same time, they are lenient toward those who mirror their views and "cancel" those who don't. While the natural instinct is to fight back forcefully, Dallas gently guides us toward a loving rational response. Convicted that the Bible today is alive, relevant, and potent, the primary purpose of this book is to equip Christians with skills to respond with grace in a hostile climate. The first five chapters provide some background on the formidable challenges of today that tend to blackmail Christians into silence. The second part of the book focuses on the knowledge of biblical truths and wisdom about rules of engagement. For thirty years, the author had encountered countless opposition and he shares from his wealth of real-world experience. 

"Marriage, Scripture, and the Church" (Darrin W. Snyder Belousek)

TITLE: Marriage, Scripture, and the Church: Theological Discernment on the Question of Same-Sex Union
AUTHOR: Darrin W. Snyder Belousek
PUBLISHER: Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Academic, 2021, (352 pages).

How do we deal with the issue of same-sex marriage? Should the Church bless same-sex union as marriage? How do we deal with the growing divide between those who support and those who do not? These issues continue to split the Church all over the world. Do we take each Bible verse on the topic and start espousing how right we are and how wrong the other view is? Do we use such passages to hammer down the other party into submission? How is it possible for both sides to say that they are biblical and yet arrive at different conclusions of the same matter? With regard to same-sex union, the debate continues to rage. Feeling the tensions in his own Church as well, author and Professor Darrin W Snyder Belousek re-examines the common approaches done so far and proposes three key thrusts in dealing with these questions. First, he ties the issue of sexuality with marriage. How one deals with the topic of marriage will directly affect our interpretation of same-sex, and vice-versa. He brings in the examples of how Jesus deals with questions about divorce and the "three-faceted reality of marriage." Positively, the Bible sees marriage as likened to Christ as groom and the Church as the bride. Negatively, infidelity destroys such a nuptial union. The author also asserts that all three major branches of Christian tradition: Catholic, Eastern Orthodox, and Protestant have always taught marriage as man-woman monogamy. He pits the teachings of the patristics and the forefathers of the faith against modern scholars like David Gushee, Dale Martin, Robert Son, James Brownson, Mark Achtemeier, and so on. He brings in arguments for both sides before presenting theological conclusions. 

"Holy Sexuality and the Gospel" (Christopher Yuan)

TITLE: Holy Sexuality and the Gospel: Sex, Desire, and Relationships Shaped by God's Grand Story
AUTHOR: Christopher Yuan
PUBLISHER: Colorado Springs, CO: Waterbrook & Multnomah, 2018, (256 pages).

One of the biggest issues in our modern world is in the area of human sexuality, in particular, homosexuality. This topic has divided many parts of society. Whether it is between tradition and modern convention; older generation vs younger generation; East vs West; or any distinctive people group, it is a controversy that has torn apart many relationships. For Christians and the Church, it hits home at the heart when members of our Church or even our families confess they are gay. Even the theological community has been split in the interpretations or re-appropriation of the Bible verses that speak about homosexuality. Even love has many different definitions and expectations. For many, it is a theoretical and theological exploration on what God is saying with regard to homosexuality. For others, it is using the Bible to defend what they believe in. However, for those who are trapped in the middle, it could be arduous and tormenting. In 1993, author Christopher Yuan announced to his parents that he is gay. Due to his family's conservative Asian background, it is particularly hard on their relationship. Worse, Yuan after coming out into the open about his sexuality, his new found "freedom" led him to some destructive behaviour including promiscuity, illicit drug use, drug peddling, and unbelief. He was subsequently caught and jailed. This was the moment that forced Yuan to spend more time reading and praying over the Bible's teachings. Right thinking must come before any intentions. Any relevance or pragmatism must never come at the price of Truth. This book is Yuan's personal journey to discover this Truth, believing that "right knowing" comes before any action or behaviour. 

"Gospel-Centered Marriage Counseling" (Robert W. Kellemen)

TITLE: Gospel-Centered Marriage Counseling
AUTHOR: Robert W. Kellemen
PUBLISHER: Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books, 2020, (272 pages).

For many people, marriage is about love between two persons. For Christians, marriage is indeed about love, but with an additional belief, that marriage is about being united before God. What is marriage from God's perspective? Why must we treat marriage counseling as based on the gospel of grace? Theologically and practically, what does it mean? Unlike books that dish out advice for married couples, this book is about equipping marriage counselors to help married couples. For author and pastor Robert Kellemen, marriage counseling is about helping couples "see their marriage from a larger set of eyes." In fact, he insists that for Christians, it is a no-brainer that marriages are essentially meant to be gospel-centered. So, the author gives us 22 "counseling relational competencies." He suggests that the book be used in a "small group lab setting." For couples, focus not on "solutions" but on "soul-utions." The emphasis is about forming the inner soul. A marriage with transformed inner selves will be gospel-centered. Kellemen tells us the three common approaches to marriage counseling: Family systems; narrative therapy; and solution-focused therapy. All of them have in common the need to understand people; to diagnose the problem; and then to identify the solution needed. Kellemen aims to go a step further than all of these by pointing us to "gospel connection." This is done through facilitating "gospel conversations." 

"For the Body" (Timothy C. Tennent)

TITLE: For the Body: Recovering a Theology of Gender, Sexuality, and the Human Body (Seedbed Resources)
AUTHOR: Timothy C. Tennent
PUBLISHER: Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2020, (272 pages).

The famous author, CS Lewis (GK Chesterton) was once asked by a newspaper publisher to write about: "What's wrong with the world?" Chesterton wrote back with a witty reply: "I am." In one short crisp message, he has managed to show us the real problem with the world: Sin. Fast forward to our modern age, if we were to answer the same question, what would that be? If posed to author and professor Timothy Tennent, it might be due to our failure to understand or to articulate a holistic view of the human body. In a sexualized culture, we need to recover the original purpose of what it means to be human. We cannot simply put out fires of cultural aberrations without dealing with the cause of the fires. We cannot simply try to bridge the divide between the conservatives and the progressives just by dealing with the morality and social justice matters respectively. From abortion rights to same-sex marriage; gender identities to political disputes; our world will continue to be torn apart as long as people fail to have a positive vision of the purpose of the human body. We need a proper theology of the body to help the Church lead the way in addressing a wide range of issues in our culture. Tennent shows us how to do just that in three ways. First, he describes the seven key building blocks of the theology of the body. Second, he exposes the cultural messages and environment we are in that continues to tarnish God's purpose. Finally, he offers a redemptive way forward to bring about a "discipled body." 

"Emerging Gender Identities" (Mark Yarhouse and Julia Sadusky)

TITLE: Emerging Gender Identities: Understanding the Diverse Experiences of Today's Youth
AUTHOR: Mark Yarhouse and Julia Sadusky
PUBLISHER: Grand Rapids, MI: Brazos Press, 2020, (256 pages).

The issue of gender identities is one of the most controversial topics in our cultures today. With political lobbying, gender identity is increasingly becoming a political tool. Some even use science to prove their point of view. Others blame it on psychological profiles while still others point to genetic makeup, questioning links between chromosomes and emotional well-being. It is becoming a confusing array of opinions and arguments. What used to be clearly male and female is not so clear today. There are accusations of liberal gender-switching as well as confusion over what exactly is gender. Some take the scientific approach to try to make sense of gender confusion. This may pass the chromosomal tests raises doubts about their direct relevance to emotional attachments. The notion of gender being classified either binary or not is increasingly challenged even as society grows more tolerant with gender definitions that transcend conventional thinking. For authors Yarhouse and Sadusky, they call it nuancing gender identities. One of the key ideas is "gender dysphoria" which zooms out of gender identity discussions and zooms into the "distress experienced" by the persons. In other words, the authors propose addressing the emotional distress so that we could discuss "alternative gender" instead of "assigned gender." They cite studies about such emerging gender identities to highlight the need to go beyond mere binary assumptions. Research suggests distinguishing "biological sex, gender identity, and sexuality." Gender identity is sometimes not assigned per se but applied using political force to the point that transgenderism has become an umbrella term to cover all non-binary interpretations of gender. In order to clarify what gender identities are, one needs to be free from the political pressure to conform to certain expectations. This means we need to understand how political pressure leads to public identity; and factors such as the sexual revolution, feminist movements, deconstruction of sex, and others.

"See-Through Marriage" (Ryan and Selena Frederick)

TITLE: See-Through Marriage
AUTHOR: Ryan and Selena Frederick
PUBLISHER: Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books, 2020, (256 pages).

In any marriage, honesty is a given. Couples are expected to be truthful to each other in all things. Put it another way, good marriages have transparency as the key attribute. No secrets. No lies. No hidden agendas. According to marriage counselors Ryan and Selena Frederick, "unfettered transparency rescues relationships, glorifies God, and multiplies joy." Transparency means vulnerability. Vulnerability involves openness and humility. It invites trust. Why is this critical? One major reason is the widespread show-off culture driven by the popularity of social media. This tempts one to pretend one is well by putting forth photos and pictures of what people wanted to see. The authors believe that we live in a culture of what we see is what we expect to get. Marriages too can fall into such falsehood. The challenge is to take meaningful risk by being vulnerable and transparent. Avoid false vulnerability which essentially hides what is important and only displays what is less important. With the central thesis of cultivating a "see-through marriage," the authors lead us through different ways to accomplish that. Using Bible teachings as the key guide, they remind us that we do not need to hide in darkness but to boldly live in the light. Living in the light according to 1 John 1:6-8 contains two promises when we do that: Purification and fellowship. Transparency means not only we not hide from God, we learn not to hide from each other. There is no fear in love. A healthy marriage means we learn to be open with each other instead of hiding things from each other. That means we learn to know ourselves and the identity God has given us. If we are secured in knowing our identity in God, we will not easily compare ourselves with others. They expand on this topic of identity through the physiological self as well as the psychological self. Experiencing oneness is one of the deepest experiences transparency can provide. 

"Understanding Transgender Identities" (James K. Beilby and Paul Rhodes Eddy, eds.)

TITLE: Understanding Transgender Identities: Four Views
AUTHOR: James K. Beilby and Paul Rhodes Eddy, eds.
PUBLISHER: Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Academic, 2019, (272 pages).

As Western society becomes more liberal, traditional and conventional forms of understanding sexuality will be challenged in more ways than one. Editors James Beilby and Paul Eddy observe that since the 60s, sexuality and gender have become more openly discussed and debated. While many have spoken about women's rights and issues; marriage; homosexuality; there is little mention about transgender identities. This book aims to provide a platform for scholarly and respectful discussion and debate. Five contributors are invited to give their views. One of them in particular, Justin Sabia-Tanis "transitioned from female to male more than twenty years ago." This gives the book a more unique perspective into the inner struggles of transgenderism. Like most "four views" books, the editors invited scholars, theologians, researchers, educators, counselors to offer their views on transgender concerns. Unlike books that focus on just the pros and cons of each view, this book takes the approach of examining the underlying reasons for each view. Beilby and Eddy set the stage up by looking at the issues from a historical angle; contemporary concerns; and how to promote conversations to engage different views.

"Rethinking Sexuality" (Juli Slattery)

TITLE: Rethinking Sexuality: God's Design and Why It Matters
AUTHOR: Juli Slattery
PUBLISHER: Colorado Springs, CO: Multnomah, 2018, (224 pages).

Gary Thomas once confessed: "One day it dawned upon me. We have been sexually discipled by the world." Indeed, we have been taken for a ride by the world. It is time to take back the reins of education to be God's people for all. It is time to renew our understanding of our calling in this world. It is time to rethink sexuality. That is the purpose of this book: Rethinking our sexuality from the ground up, beginning with our relationship with God; our honesty with self; and our relationship with others. Written for a wide group of people including parents, teachers, pastors, lay leaders, and Christians, this book is about addressing the current state of confusion surrounding sexual issues such as loneliness, shame, addiction, intimacy, disagreement, pornography, sexual abuse, cohabitation, masturbation, sexual orientation, and much more. Slattery makes the assertion that sexuality is "not a problem to be solved but a territory to be reclaimed." Thus, conventional sexual education and purity abstentions do not work. For the former, educational model tends be too reductionist. For the latter, it is to reactive to the excesses of sexuality. The author claims that the way forward is "sexual discipleship." For too long, our answers to the sexual questions of the day tend to be based on how our cultures would respond. For instance:

• Cultural approaches to sexuality tend to be humanistic or postmodern which jettisons the notion of right and wrong; in favour of whatever we feel appropriate
• Transgender rights insist on the freedom of experience based on a postmodern philosophy of gender identities according to what we want
• Doing simply because everybody else is doing it!

Sexual discipleship means we exalt Christ above all, including our sexuality. Slattery gives us several reasons why we need to talk about sexuality. For individuals, we need to find hope. For churches, we need to grow up and relate to the new generation. We need not feel like Adam and Eve who were ashamed about themselves and their nakedness. Part One of the book deals with one's relationship with God. Using the 5Ps as alliteration, Slattery lists as follows:

• The Premise: What you think about sex begins with what you believe about God.
• The Purpose: The gospel is written within your sexuality.
• The Problem: Someone wants to destroy holy sexuality.
• The Pandemic: We are all sexually broken.
• The Promise: Jesus came to redeem broken sexuality.  

Part Two is more introspective as we learn to live our beliefs. In doing so, we need to face three primary conflicts: 1) our flesh vs our spirituality; 2) Our public vs Private selves; 3) Love vs Truth. Spiritual discipleship is essentially about dealing with these conflicts so as to ensure that Christ is honoured. Part Three applies spiritual discipleship to our wider relationships: Our personal relationships and as a Church. Some of the questions she pose includes:

• What can we do in a destructive relationship?
• Should we attend a gay marriage ceremony?
• What if our spouse has no desire for sex?
• How modern TV programmes and movies affect our sexual perspectives? 
• How do we interact with transgenders?
• What to do with Christian leaders with moral failures?
• ... and several more.

My Thoughts
First, this is a needed book in a culture full of confusing sexual messages and corrupt images. Hollywood and popular TV stations tend to opt for programming that appeals to the widest audiences. Their positions are are pretty much amoral. Where the money is, there they would go. After all, educating the public is not their primary responsibility. Profit making is. With the pervasiveness of the Internet, it is increasingly impossible to control what our kids and out young people see. In the past, we can switch off the TV or limit the programming through parental controls. Nowadays, even if we were to turn off our WiFi at home, children can surf the net using their cellphones and tablets running on generous data plans.

Second, sexual discipleship seems like a very big word which might scare off ordinary lay persons. This is not the style of this book. The term may look intimidating, but the contents and the way Slattery has written appeals to the general reader. In fact, she has includes a lot of her personal counseling and teaching experiences with real-life people that carries an authenticity that is beyond theory and facts. She relates well and understands the profound struggles of many.

Finally, sexual discipleship is spiritual warfare. I am grateful for Slattery's reminder of the three primary challenges of the world on the biblical perspective. One of the reasons for the lack of Christian responses to the world prescriptions for sex and sexuality is because of the lack of Christian witnesses in this area. Being Christian is not about taking the purity pledge or some abstention of sexual activity. It is about honouring God in all things we do. This book shows us exactly how to do just that. We need a biblical response more than ever. We need a more holistic view of sexuality. We need to stop letting the world lead the way in learning about sexuality.

Dr. Juli Slattery is a popular clinical psychologist, author, speaker and broadcast media professional. She is the president and co-founder of Authentic Intimacy. She hosts Java With Juli on Moody Radio, where she answers tough questions about relationships, marriage, spiritual, emotional and sexual intimacy. She has authored books such as Passion Pursuit, Finding the Hero in Your Husband, No More Headaches, and Guilt-Free Motherhood. She and her husband, Mike, have been married since 1994 and have three children.

Rating: 4.25 stars of 5.

conrade

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This book has been provided courtesy of Multnomah and NetGalley without requiring a positive review. All opinions offered above are mine unless otherwise stated or implied.

"Sex in a Broken World" (Paul David Tripp)

TITLE: Sex in a Broken World: How Christ Redeems What Sin Distorts
AUTHOR: Paul David Tripp
PUBLISHER: Wheaton, IL: Crossway Publishers, 2018, (192 pages).

It is no secret that our culture has been highly sexualized. Whether it is sexist language or sexualized commercials that depict male and female stereotypes; or scandals and news about the latest Hollywood breakups and couple hitches; there is a deep public interest and curiosity over what people do in private bedrooms. According to author and pastor Paul David Tripp, sexuality reveals the sinfulness in human beings more powerfully than any other thing. So much so that it has split communities; break apart churches; divided families; and corrupted relationships. Is there hope in the midst of such brokenness? Calling himself a "sad celebrant," he reveals the conflicted feelings and thoughts about sex in a broken world. On the one hand, he is sorry about the sad state of affairs pertaining to the way people use and abuse one another. On the other hand, he is hopeful about the promises of redemption of the world in Christ. What does it mean to live between the "already" and the "not yet?" With Christ having died for our sins at the cross, God has already won our salvation for us. Yet, we remain incomplete and imperfect. Even after the gospel has been preached, we continue to hurt one another in various ways. Sexual sins is a major part of this brokenness. What can we do about it? How do we think redemptively about sexual sins? Can marriages survive adultery? What could sexually charged individuals do with their strong sexual desires? After describing the emotional conflicts about sexuality, the author hones in on Romans 8 passage to point out the reality of the world in sin and the promises of hope in redemption. There will be temptations. There will be pitfalls. There will be hardships of different degrees. There will be suffering, one that includes sexuality as well. In this book, Tripp shows us that God's grace is often "uncomfortable grace"; "intervening grace"; "unstoppable grace"; "providing grace"; and "inseparable grace."

"Making All Things New" (David Powlison)

TITLE: Making All Things New: Restoring Joy to the Sexually Broken
AUTHOR: David Powlison
PUBLISHER: Wheaton, IL: Crossway Publishers, 2017, (128 pages).

Human Sexuality are huge matters in our culture. Whether it is about registering for some government procedures, school programs, club activities, or even the use of restrooms, we are asked about gender types all the time. If we are happy about ourselves, references to our sexuality would not really bother us. What if we had a dark sexual past? What if we had been hurt before and our sexuality damaged? What if we have been betrayed by our spouses or partners? Author describes such betrayals like a clean rag soaking up dark and dirty stains. Can the rag be made clean? What does it take to make people new again? This is the key purpose of this book. Powlison sets forth three orienting realities for us:

1. Faithfulness: Christian faith revels in Sexual Fidelity
2. Honest: Christian Faith is Candid about Sexual Wrongs
3. Regeneration: Christian Faith brings Genuine Transformation

Even though God created sex good, sin has corrupted it. By the grace of God, sex has been redeemed and human sexuality made new. Working through the paradoxes of how suffering could be a chance for growth, and how sexual brokenness affects both all genders, readers are guided with this constant prompting, that God will not only make all things new, what He started, He will also complete it. 

"Play the Man" (Mark Batterson)

TITLE: Play the Man: Becoming the Man God Created You to Be
AUTHOR: Mark Batterson
PUBLISHER: Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books, 2017, (224 pages).

There was a time in which people were talking about what it means to be a man. Not anymore. Now, many are more interested in pandering to cultural expectations, elevating human rights, and blurring the lines between tradition sexuality. With more confusing philosophies and conflicting opinions about gender matters, the meaning of manhood, womanhood, or other variants of sexuality no longer commands the same level of interest as before. For author and pastor Mark Batterson, he fears that modern culture has not only forgotten what it means to be a man, it has lost it. It has become  a literal 'no man's land' where people do not know who they are anymore. Batterson presses the cultural reset button to go back to the Bible. Using powerful stories of the early century martyrs as a springboard toward spiritual conviction and biblical principles, he advocates the seven virtues of true manhood. Men as fathers are to disciple their children, not the youth pastors. They are not merely to pile up "resume virtues" just to make a living. Instead, they are called to leave behind "eulogy virtues" to make a life, starting with their own. True manhood wins the heart of God. Batterson shows the way with the seven virtues. First, it is about "tough love." They are tough on bullies and injustice, but soft when it comes to compassion and care for the vulnerable. They take up the cross and will stand up for the truth. Real man do cry. The second virtue is about "childlike wonder" in which he deals with the root meaning of the Greek word for "disciple" which is a learner. Childlikeness means having a curious capacity to learn; being wowed by the beauty and wonder of God; and to recognize one is small in a very large world. The third virtue of a man is "will power" in which one learns to take responsibility for his actions. He also responds in righteous living and able to resist temptations. He keeps his integrity intact. The fourth virtue is "raw passion" where one is urged not to be spectators but participants in life. He walks in faith instead of dwelling in doubt. He fights apathy. He resists lust. He is more focused on meeting his wife's needs rather than self. Fifth, a real man would display "true grit" who does not shy away from challenges but to persevere with a belief at conquering himself, heart, mind, and soul. He is resilient and does not easily settle.  The sixth virtue is "clear vision" where he has a specific focus and vision about what he want to do in life. He takes regular retreats to take stock of his life and lives forward in a balanced manner. Finally, there is the virtue of "moral courage," something that is most needed in our troubled times. He speaks out against evil. He models himself for the young to see. He is bold to confess sins and thrives in the kingdom.

"Speaking of Homosexuality" (Joe Dallas)

TITLE: Speaking of Homosexuality: Discussing the Issues with Kindness and Clarity
AUTHOR: Joe Dallas
PUBLISHER: Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books, (256 pages).

Homosexuality has become one of the most controversial and divisive issue this century. As more societies legalize same-sex marriages and impose harsh punishment on any forms of discrimination against homosexuals, it is becoming very risky for anybody to say anything negative about homosexuality. Witty politicians would be quick to praise gay rights and to march alongside pride parades. A lot of news media would pounce on any objections to the flaunting of homosexuality. Homosexuality has become mainstream, even as traditional understanding of biblical Christianity gets marginalized to the sidelines. As experienced by the author who used to identify himself as a gay Christian arguing for the acceptance of homosexuality, his turnaround has a nasty pushback from the very gay friends he formerly identified with. The very pro-gay parties he used to support has turned hostile against him when he no longer believe that homosexuality was ok. The major line drawn was this: "Is homosexuality a sin?" Say no and he would be welcome with open arms. Say yes and he would be branded a bigot, a homophobic, or some nasty adjective. Standing up against gay activists is a path very few people dare to nowadays. The challenge laid out in this book is this: How do we navigate our relationship with gay people without compromising on what the Bible say?

"Sensitive Preaching to the Sexually Hurting" (Sam Serio)

TITLE: Sensitive Preaching to the Sexually Hurting
AUTHOR: Sam Serio
PUBLISHER: Grand Rapids, MI: Kregel Academic, 2016, (208 pages).

It has been said that preachers generally have two tasks in their preaching. They need to speak in a way that afflicts the comfortable and comforts the afflicted. The Holy Spirit often uses powerful preaching to do wonders and convicts the complacent. With regard to gentle care, encouragement, and comfort, it calls for sensitive preaching. In this book, the focus is on recognizing the presence of hurt and pain in the congregation gathered each week and to work on three stages of preparation:

1. The Heart of the Preacher
2. The Message
3. The Future

First and foremost, it is about the heart of the preacher. This means opening one'e eyes to the reality of hurting and to establish empathy with the people sitting at the pews. No empathy, no connection. No connection, no relevance in the preaching. One key area is sexuality. While it is good to talk about the ideals and the perfection God requires, truth is, many are sexually hurting in many different ways. There are those who felt guilt because of casual sex, abortion, or some past sexual assaults. There are those who had suffered rape, same-sex attraction, and unnatural sexual feelings. There are also victims of abuse and addicts to pornography and prostitution. Most worrying of all, these remain hidden from others, to the point that one often hurts or suffers alone. How can the minister speak into all of these? It begins with realization that this world is far more broken than we think. Author Sam Serio notes that preachers are often preach in a "negligent or negative" way. Instead, they are to open their eyes not only to the harvest but also to the personal "wreckage" for the person(s) sitting at the pews. It is a tough balancing act to convict at times and to comfort at other times. The key question Serio poses is:

"Healing the Wounded Heart" (Dan B. Allender)

TITLE: Healing the Wounded Heart: The Heartache of Sexual Abuse and the Hope of Transformation
AUTHOR: Dan B. Allender
PUBLISHER: Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books, 2016, (288 pages).

This world is more broken than some of us may have thought. For all the nice commercials and happy faces on social media, there is a hidden world of pain and despair due to shame and abuse. As the saying goes, hurt people will tend to hurt other people. Healed people will help others along their own paths of healing. If that is the case, then there are lots of incentives to be agents of healing. If we want to change the world, we start by touching one life at a time. In order to do this, we need to recognize the wounded and to be empowered to travel the healing path.

Dan Allender is Professor of Counseling Psychology and Former President of Seattle School of Theology and Psychology. Fifteen years ago, he wrote The Wounded Heart which gave many readers the vocabulary and language needed to express their pain of being victims of sexual abuse. This book is a sequel that not only updates the new face of sexual abuse, it also contains more material on what it takes to move from hurting to healing. Using his own pain of being hit by a drunken driver, which left him with permanent scars mentally and physically, he gained a unique perspective of being able to listen into the hurts of those who suffered from sexual abuse. Such abuses include rape, unwanted sexual approaches, molestations, groping, date rape, sex while intoxicated, sexual harassment, and so on. Working with the Allender Center for Abuse and Trauma, Allender has come across many cases of people suffering and struggling with the whole matter of abuse. As the culture and environment changes, the types of abuses also changes.

"People to be Loved" (Preston Sprinkle)

TITLE: People to Be Loved: Why Homosexuality Is Not Just an Issue
AUTHOR: Preston Sprinkle
PUBLISHER: Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2015, (224 pages).

There is little doubt that the topic of homosexuality has split Christians and churches in many parts of the world. Every denomination has their controversial splits. Every theological institution has members, faculty, and students with strong views on both sides. Many books have been written from both sides. Some try to take the middle ground and received criticisms. Others advocate their views strongly and receive equally strong push backs. Along with the various authors views, there are multiple support and opponents from publishers, readers to casual commentators. Many try to see the matter as simple and clear cut as possible but to no avail. Instead of a polemical approach against either side, author Preston Sprinkle decides to build bridges through understanding and honest appreciation of each view. He points out the strengths and weaknesses of both sides and the ways they interpret the biblical passages. In doing so, he turns what is potentially a contentious issue into a conversational style engagement without coercing anyone from compromising their stand. Calling homosexuality not just an "issue," Sprinkle highlights the greater importance: People. In reading this book, we learn that it is not the answer but the search for truth and more importantly, the way we argue out our views that represent the better way forward.  There is no point in winning any argument and losing our friends (or foes).