"Gender as Love" (Fellipe do Vale)

TITLE: Gender as Love: A Theological Account of Human Identity, Embodied Desire, and Our Social Worlds
AUTHOR: Fellipe do Vale
PUBLISHER: Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Academic, 2024, (272 pages).
 

One of the biggest contentions today in the Church has to do with gender. In the past, there used to be constant debates about what it meant to be male or female, and what roles they were supposed to be playing. Then we have the feminist movement that pushes back against male dominance. Those issues remain active in many parts of society but are increasingly eclipsed by debates surrounding multi-gendered definitions and nuanced multi-dimensionally. Today, the line between male and female is increasingly blurred. The core issue is not sexuality but what it means to be human. Realizing that gender issues are becoming more divisive each day, we need to have a way to talk about these matters rationally and theologically. Thus, this book probes the biblical understanding of gender sexuality and tries to make sense of it in an increasingly complex social construct today. Simply put, it is to shed light on the question: "What is gender?" and How do we understand gender theologically? With so many different theological interpretations today, how do we do "theological theology?" Author-Professor Fellipe do Vale kicks off by laying out the categories in terms of two "bifurcations":

1. Divisive Philosophy: Between proponents of gender as "Essence" vs that as "Social Construct."
2. Divided Theology (Methodological): One anchored on modern academic discipline and the other on traditional beliefs.

"Beautiful Union" (Joshua Ryan Butler)

TITLE: Beautiful Union: How God's Vision for Sex Points Us to the Good, Unlocks the True, and (Sort of) Explains Everything
AUTHOR: Joshua Ryan Butler
PUBLISHER: New York, NY: Multnomah Press, 2023, (288 pages).
 

Sex is beautiful. It is also sacred. When God created the human race, he was highly pleased. When sin entered the world, all hell broke loose. Whatever God had created became corrupted or tainted with sin. Sex is one of them. Just like how Adam and Eve allowed sin to turn their innocence into shame, more often than not, sex had negative connotations. What God had created as good and beautiful, descended into something people are generally ashamed of. So, they hide. They say that sex talk equals promiscuity. They presume that any thoughts of sexuality or sexual act are "dirty" until proven otherwise. We need a healthy correction to this beautiful gift of God. This book is an attempt to do just that. It studies the intent of God's gift, the beauty, the mystery, and the vision God has for us. In other words, sex is a beautiful thing from God and we need to recover this beauty culturally, mentally, and theologically. Butler first looks at the way modern culture has corrupted the original meaning and intent of sex. He compares the biblical and cultural use of language to describe sex. One of the distinctions is how the Bible does not shy away from the description, unlike the way modern culture treats the subject. Perhaps, this has something to do with the way sin has triggered the human tendency to hide things that they perceive as inherently shameful. Butler then makes his case by boldly pushing back against the cultural norms with two words: Generosity and Hospitality. Taking on biblical boldness, he tries to connect sex with the nature of grace. Using complementary language, one party receives while the other gives. Butler makes a theological stretch (albeit a stretch too far), to cement the roles of each gender into the giving and receiving metaphor. He spends some time describing what union is and why it is beautiful. Going back to the umbrella of God's creation, sex is indeed a beautiful gift from God. Freedom and grace accompany this beautiful gift. Using God's identity as the Triune God, he shows us how we are made to belong to one another. He then goes on to describe and also redeem words deemed taboo, like "orgasm," "making love," "semen," "vagina," etc. He also covers topics with regard to abortion, adultery, birth control, diversity, divorce, singleness, gay-sex, "the leave and cleave gospel," and the dangers of "cheap sex," the "sexual prosperity gospel," the latter being the comparison between purity keeping and legalism. In that aspect, I think Butler has given us lots of food for thought on how to think about such issues from a biblical standpoint.

"When Children Come Out" (Mark A. Yarhouse and Olya Zaporozhets)

TITLE: When Children Come Out: A Guide for Christian Parents
AUTHOR: Mark A. Yarhouse and Olya Zaporozhets
PUBLISHER: Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 2022, (193 pages).
 

Activists hold annual parades to celebrate their sexual orientation. Politicians flaunt their support to garner votes. Many organizations have also enshrined gender equality for all forms of self-identified sexualities. For all the public acceptance, there are still some in the private sphere who are more reserved. For various reasons, there are issues surrounding sexual orientations that individual families and communities need to grapple with. One of the most challenging situations have to deal with conservative parents whose children confess their homosexual orientations, same-sex attractions, or the umbrella term LGBTQ+. This is popularly known as "coming out." Thus the title of this book is essentially about journeying with parents, especially conservative ones, in such situations. How do we nuance our understanding of sexuality without compromising on our biblical faith? How do we communicate such sensitive topics? How do we deal with the experiences from the stage of awareness to the stage of discovery or disclosure? Based on statistical studies as well as personal interviews, authors Mark Yarhouse and Olya Zaporozhets have written this book to guide parents through these stages to facilitate dialogue and mutual understanding. Two parallel journeys are of interest. One of the parents and the other of the child coming out. The focus of this book is on the former. The authors walk us through the process of awareness; seeking help; maintaining the relationship; impact on faith; and how parents can come to terms with reality. Toward the end of the book, there is a chapter about how the Church can help. 

"Christians in a Cancel Culture" (Joe Dallas)

TITLE: Christians in a Cancel Culture: Speaking with Truth and Grace in a Hostile World
AUTHOR: Joe Dallas
PUBLISHER: Eugene, OR: Harvest House Publishers, 2021, (208 pages).

Opposition to the gospel is nothing new. It could be direct persecution, like in the Early Church. It could also be indirect insinuation in the form of cynical comments or sarcasm. Both forms of hostility are alive and well today. While physical persecution happens mostly in closed countries like North Korea, open criticism and condemnation occur daily whenever Christians attempt to speak against worldly values. In the 60s, when Christians speak about a Christian perspective of a particular issue, it was generally accepted in a "business as usual" manner. Then comes the 90s culture of cynicism, where the same issues in the past need to be defended. Apologists grew in number as more people attempted to engage a generation of cynicism. Today, the tide has been turned completely around that Christians no longer can speak about such issues freely. Their rights to expressing the same views of the past are increasingly being "canceled." Author Joe Dallas has been observing such a "cancel culture" trend. He sees how Big Tech is playing the role of censorship to "streamline" views they deem unsuitable. At the same time, they are lenient toward those who mirror their views and "cancel" those who don't. While the natural instinct is to fight back forcefully, Dallas gently guides us toward a loving rational response. Convicted that the Bible today is alive, relevant, and potent, the primary purpose of this book is to equip Christians with skills to respond with grace in a hostile climate. The first five chapters provide some background on the formidable challenges of today that tend to blackmail Christians into silence. The second part of the book focuses on the knowledge of biblical truths and wisdom about rules of engagement. For thirty years, the author had encountered countless opposition and he shares from his wealth of real-world experience. 

"Marriage, Scripture, and the Church" (Darrin W. Snyder Belousek)

TITLE: Marriage, Scripture, and the Church: Theological Discernment on the Question of Same-Sex Union
AUTHOR: Darrin W. Snyder Belousek
PUBLISHER: Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Academic, 2021, (352 pages).

How do we deal with the issue of same-sex marriage? Should the Church bless same-sex union as marriage? How do we deal with the growing divide between those who support and those who do not? These issues continue to split the Church all over the world. Do we take each Bible verse on the topic and start espousing how right we are and how wrong the other view is? Do we use such passages to hammer down the other party into submission? How is it possible for both sides to say that they are biblical and yet arrive at different conclusions of the same matter? With regard to same-sex union, the debate continues to rage. Feeling the tensions in his own Church as well, author and Professor Darrin W Snyder Belousek re-examines the common approaches done so far and proposes three key thrusts in dealing with these questions. First, he ties the issue of sexuality with marriage. How one deals with the topic of marriage will directly affect our interpretation of same-sex, and vice-versa. He brings in the examples of how Jesus deals with questions about divorce and the "three-faceted reality of marriage." Positively, the Bible sees marriage as likened to Christ as groom and the Church as the bride. Negatively, infidelity destroys such a nuptial union. The author also asserts that all three major branches of Christian tradition: Catholic, Eastern Orthodox, and Protestant have always taught marriage as man-woman monogamy. He pits the teachings of the patristics and the forefathers of the faith against modern scholars like David Gushee, Dale Martin, Robert Son, James Brownson, Mark Achtemeier, and so on. He brings in arguments for both sides before presenting theological conclusions. 

"Emerging Gender Identities" (Mark Yarhouse and Julia Sadusky)

TITLE: Emerging Gender Identities: Understanding the Diverse Experiences of Today's Youth
AUTHOR: Mark Yarhouse and Julia Sadusky
PUBLISHER: Grand Rapids, MI: Brazos Press, 2020, (256 pages).

The issue of gender identities is one of the most controversial topics in our cultures today. With political lobbying, gender identity is increasingly becoming a political tool. Some even use science to prove their point of view. Others blame it on psychological profiles while still others point to genetic makeup, questioning links between chromosomes and emotional well-being. It is becoming a confusing array of opinions and arguments. What used to be clearly male and female is not so clear today. There are accusations of liberal gender-switching as well as confusion over what exactly is gender. Some take the scientific approach to try to make sense of gender confusion. This may pass the chromosomal tests raises doubts about their direct relevance to emotional attachments. The notion of gender being classified either binary or not is increasingly challenged even as society grows more tolerant with gender definitions that transcend conventional thinking. For authors Yarhouse and Sadusky, they call it nuancing gender identities. One of the key ideas is "gender dysphoria" which zooms out of gender identity discussions and zooms into the "distress experienced" by the persons. In other words, the authors propose addressing the emotional distress so that we could discuss "alternative gender" instead of "assigned gender." They cite studies about such emerging gender identities to highlight the need to go beyond mere binary assumptions. Research suggests distinguishing "biological sex, gender identity, and sexuality." Gender identity is sometimes not assigned per se but applied using political force to the point that transgenderism has become an umbrella term to cover all non-binary interpretations of gender. In order to clarify what gender identities are, one needs to be free from the political pressure to conform to certain expectations. This means we need to understand how political pressure leads to public identity; and factors such as the sexual revolution, feminist movements, deconstruction of sex, and others.

"See-Through Marriage" (Ryan and Selena Frederick)

TITLE: See-Through Marriage
AUTHOR: Ryan and Selena Frederick
PUBLISHER: Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books, 2020, (256 pages).

In any marriage, honesty is a given. Couples are expected to be truthful to each other in all things. Put it another way, good marriages have transparency as the key attribute. No secrets. No lies. No hidden agendas. According to marriage counselors Ryan and Selena Frederick, "unfettered transparency rescues relationships, glorifies God, and multiplies joy." Transparency means vulnerability. Vulnerability involves openness and humility. It invites trust. Why is this critical? One major reason is the widespread show-off culture driven by the popularity of social media. This tempts one to pretend one is well by putting forth photos and pictures of what people wanted to see. The authors believe that we live in a culture of what we see is what we expect to get. Marriages too can fall into such falsehood. The challenge is to take meaningful risk by being vulnerable and transparent. Avoid false vulnerability which essentially hides what is important and only displays what is less important. With the central thesis of cultivating a "see-through marriage," the authors lead us through different ways to accomplish that. Using Bible teachings as the key guide, they remind us that we do not need to hide in darkness but to boldly live in the light. Living in the light according to 1 John 1:6-8 contains two promises when we do that: Purification and fellowship. Transparency means not only we not hide from God, we learn not to hide from each other. There is no fear in love. A healthy marriage means we learn to be open with each other instead of hiding things from each other. That means we learn to know ourselves and the identity God has given us. If we are secured in knowing our identity in God, we will not easily compare ourselves with others. They expand on this topic of identity through the physiological self as well as the psychological self. Experiencing oneness is one of the deepest experiences transparency can provide. 

"Rethinking Sexuality" (Juli Slattery)

TITLE: Rethinking Sexuality: God's Design and Why It Matters
AUTHOR: Juli Slattery
PUBLISHER: Colorado Springs, CO: Multnomah, 2018, (224 pages).

Gary Thomas once confessed: "One day it dawned upon me. We have been sexually discipled by the world." Indeed, we have been taken for a ride by the world. It is time to take back the reins of education to be God's people for all. It is time to renew our understanding of our calling in this world. It is time to rethink sexuality. That is the purpose of this book: Rethinking our sexuality from the ground up, beginning with our relationship with God; our honesty with self; and our relationship with others. Written for a wide group of people including parents, teachers, pastors, lay leaders, and Christians, this book is about addressing the current state of confusion surrounding sexual issues such as loneliness, shame, addiction, intimacy, disagreement, pornography, sexual abuse, cohabitation, masturbation, sexual orientation, and much more. Slattery makes the assertion that sexuality is "not a problem to be solved but a territory to be reclaimed." Thus, conventional sexual education and purity abstentions do not work. For the former, educational model tends be too reductionist. For the latter, it is to reactive to the excesses of sexuality. The author claims that the way forward is "sexual discipleship." For too long, our answers to the sexual questions of the day tend to be based on how our cultures would respond. For instance:

• Cultural approaches to sexuality tend to be humanistic or postmodern which jettisons the notion of right and wrong; in favour of whatever we feel appropriate
• Transgender rights insist on the freedom of experience based on a postmodern philosophy of gender identities according to what we want
• Doing simply because everybody else is doing it!

Sexual discipleship means we exalt Christ above all, including our sexuality. Slattery gives us several reasons why we need to talk about sexuality. For individuals, we need to find hope. For churches, we need to grow up and relate to the new generation. We need not feel like Adam and Eve who were ashamed about themselves and their nakedness. Part One of the book deals with one's relationship with God. Using the 5Ps as alliteration, Slattery lists as follows:

• The Premise: What you think about sex begins with what you believe about God.
• The Purpose: The gospel is written within your sexuality.
• The Problem: Someone wants to destroy holy sexuality.
• The Pandemic: We are all sexually broken.
• The Promise: Jesus came to redeem broken sexuality.  

Part Two is more introspective as we learn to live our beliefs. In doing so, we need to face three primary conflicts: 1) our flesh vs our spirituality; 2) Our public vs Private selves; 3) Love vs Truth. Spiritual discipleship is essentially about dealing with these conflicts so as to ensure that Christ is honoured. Part Three applies spiritual discipleship to our wider relationships: Our personal relationships and as a Church. Some of the questions she pose includes:

• What can we do in a destructive relationship?
• Should we attend a gay marriage ceremony?
• What if our spouse has no desire for sex?
• How modern TV programmes and movies affect our sexual perspectives? 
• How do we interact with transgenders?
• What to do with Christian leaders with moral failures?
• ... and several more.

My Thoughts
First, this is a needed book in a culture full of confusing sexual messages and corrupt images. Hollywood and popular TV stations tend to opt for programming that appeals to the widest audiences. Their positions are are pretty much amoral. Where the money is, there they would go. After all, educating the public is not their primary responsibility. Profit making is. With the pervasiveness of the Internet, it is increasingly impossible to control what our kids and out young people see. In the past, we can switch off the TV or limit the programming through parental controls. Nowadays, even if we were to turn off our WiFi at home, children can surf the net using their cellphones and tablets running on generous data plans.

Second, sexual discipleship seems like a very big word which might scare off ordinary lay persons. This is not the style of this book. The term may look intimidating, but the contents and the way Slattery has written appeals to the general reader. In fact, she has includes a lot of her personal counseling and teaching experiences with real-life people that carries an authenticity that is beyond theory and facts. She relates well and understands the profound struggles of many.

Finally, sexual discipleship is spiritual warfare. I am grateful for Slattery's reminder of the three primary challenges of the world on the biblical perspective. One of the reasons for the lack of Christian responses to the world prescriptions for sex and sexuality is because of the lack of Christian witnesses in this area. Being Christian is not about taking the purity pledge or some abstention of sexual activity. It is about honouring God in all things we do. This book shows us exactly how to do just that. We need a biblical response more than ever. We need a more holistic view of sexuality. We need to stop letting the world lead the way in learning about sexuality.

Dr. Juli Slattery is a popular clinical psychologist, author, speaker and broadcast media professional. She is the president and co-founder of Authentic Intimacy. She hosts Java With Juli on Moody Radio, where she answers tough questions about relationships, marriage, spiritual, emotional and sexual intimacy. She has authored books such as Passion Pursuit, Finding the Hero in Your Husband, No More Headaches, and Guilt-Free Motherhood. She and her husband, Mike, have been married since 1994 and have three children.

Rating: 4.25 stars of 5.

conrade

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This book has been provided courtesy of Multnomah and NetGalley without requiring a positive review. All opinions offered above are mine unless otherwise stated or implied.

"Sex in a Broken World" (Paul David Tripp)

TITLE: Sex in a Broken World: How Christ Redeems What Sin Distorts
AUTHOR: Paul David Tripp
PUBLISHER: Wheaton, IL: Crossway Publishers, 2018, (192 pages).

It is no secret that our culture has been highly sexualized. Whether it is sexist language or sexualized commercials that depict male and female stereotypes; or scandals and news about the latest Hollywood breakups and couple hitches; there is a deep public interest and curiosity over what people do in private bedrooms. According to author and pastor Paul David Tripp, sexuality reveals the sinfulness in human beings more powerfully than any other thing. So much so that it has split communities; break apart churches; divided families; and corrupted relationships. Is there hope in the midst of such brokenness? Calling himself a "sad celebrant," he reveals the conflicted feelings and thoughts about sex in a broken world. On the one hand, he is sorry about the sad state of affairs pertaining to the way people use and abuse one another. On the other hand, he is hopeful about the promises of redemption of the world in Christ. What does it mean to live between the "already" and the "not yet?" With Christ having died for our sins at the cross, God has already won our salvation for us. Yet, we remain incomplete and imperfect. Even after the gospel has been preached, we continue to hurt one another in various ways. Sexual sins is a major part of this brokenness. What can we do about it? How do we think redemptively about sexual sins? Can marriages survive adultery? What could sexually charged individuals do with their strong sexual desires? After describing the emotional conflicts about sexuality, the author hones in on Romans 8 passage to point out the reality of the world in sin and the promises of hope in redemption. There will be temptations. There will be pitfalls. There will be hardships of different degrees. There will be suffering, one that includes sexuality as well. In this book, Tripp shows us that God's grace is often "uncomfortable grace"; "intervening grace"; "unstoppable grace"; "providing grace"; and "inseparable grace."

"Sensitive Preaching to the Sexually Hurting" (Sam Serio)

TITLE: Sensitive Preaching to the Sexually Hurting
AUTHOR: Sam Serio
PUBLISHER: Grand Rapids, MI: Kregel Academic, 2016, (208 pages).

It has been said that preachers generally have two tasks in their preaching. They need to speak in a way that afflicts the comfortable and comforts the afflicted. The Holy Spirit often uses powerful preaching to do wonders and convicts the complacent. With regard to gentle care, encouragement, and comfort, it calls for sensitive preaching. In this book, the focus is on recognizing the presence of hurt and pain in the congregation gathered each week and to work on three stages of preparation:

1. The Heart of the Preacher
2. The Message
3. The Future

First and foremost, it is about the heart of the preacher. This means opening one'e eyes to the reality of hurting and to establish empathy with the people sitting at the pews. No empathy, no connection. No connection, no relevance in the preaching. One key area is sexuality. While it is good to talk about the ideals and the perfection God requires, truth is, many are sexually hurting in many different ways. There are those who felt guilt because of casual sex, abortion, or some past sexual assaults. There are those who had suffered rape, same-sex attraction, and unnatural sexual feelings. There are also victims of abuse and addicts to pornography and prostitution. Most worrying of all, these remain hidden from others, to the point that one often hurts or suffers alone. How can the minister speak into all of these? It begins with realization that this world is far more broken than we think. Author Sam Serio notes that preachers are often preach in a "negligent or negative" way. Instead, they are to open their eyes not only to the harvest but also to the personal "wreckage" for the person(s) sitting at the pews. It is a tough balancing act to convict at times and to comfort at other times. The key question Serio poses is:

"I Don't Get You" (Sherry Graf)

TITLE: I Don't Get You: A Guide to Healthy Conversations
AUTHOR: Sherry Graf
PUBLISHER: Colorado Springs, CO: NavPress, 2016, (80 pages).

What is sexual purity? Why is it important? How can one maintain a healthy conversation on the topic on sexuality? Can we relate constructively with the opposite sex without having the feeling of butterflies in our stomachs? Is it really possible to have emotional purity in our hearts? The key thesis of this book is that we need to learn to guard our hearts and to maintain purity in our relationships. Proverbs 4:23 teaches us: "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." Be connected first to God before trying others. Any intimate relationship with people needs to flow out of that reverent relationship with God. This guide shows us not one but FIVE conversation categories.

The first category is BIO-DATA which deals more with facts about the person. This can be questions about hobbies, likings, family, and interests. This category of questions can be fun especially when individuals are genuinely curious about the other person.

The second category is TESTIMONY where one asks about the faith journey of the other person. Stick with facts. If possible, keep the conversations at a group level. Questions like, "When did you become a Christian?" or "How did you get to know about Jesus?" can often help us understand the faith aspects.

The third category is DREAMS which is about the person's ambition and goals. One can learn what makes that person tick. It is about vocational choice, career goals, and important pursuits a growing person will need to tackle.

The fourth category is FEARS which can range from phobia of various things to fears surrounding broken relationships.

The fifth category is DEEPEST HURTS which is very revealing and makes the other person vulnerable. It covers regrets, wounds, and pains.

Apart from these five categories, we learn about the levels of intimacy with respect to discussing each particular categories. There are tips on learning not to share too much too fast; not to defraud others emotionally; dating tips; and finally emotional purity and marriage.

Personally, the five categories are already worth the price of this book. It gives us a good way to structure our conversations, learning the do's and don'ts of communications, and how not to become too intimate too quickly. A healthy conversation needs to be respectful. With this book, readers would learn how to do just that.

Rating: 4 stars of 5.

conrade

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This book is provided to me courtesy of Tyndale House Publishers, NavPress, and NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. All opinions offered above are mine unless otherwise stated or implied.

"Living in the Light of Money, Sex & Power" (John Piper)

TITLE: Living in the Light: Money, Sex and Power
AUTHOR: John Piper
PUBLISHER: Purcellville, VA: The Good Book Company, 2016, (144 pages).

God has created this world for good, but sin had tarnished it in so many ways. Thus, good people no longer simply do good works. They are tempted to sin and can be deceived into turning good things into bad. How then do we live in our modern world of infatuation with things regarding money, sex, and power? Two words essentially surround this book's message about money, sex, and power: Corruption and Redemption. At the end of it all, Piper asserts that not only can God redeem these three areas of life, God is glorified when these are wisely stewarded and used for the benefit of all.

Money is simply a form of valuation, a cultural symbol of value that becomes a moral issue on how it is used. If the use of money is the surface, then the motivation behind its use or abuse is the underlying forces that we need to deal with. Sex is much broader than mere erotic stimulation. It is a good gift to be cherished and protected. Power is the capacity to get what we want. The common thread through these three is this: It is a God-given means of showing what we value. The root problem is the condition of the human heart that seeks to place idols above God. Using Romans 1 as the key Bible passage, readers learn of how light becomes darkness, idols become enthroned, and how power elevates self above all others.

"Divine Sex" (Jonathan Grant)

TITLE: Divine Sex: A Compelling Vision for Christian Relationships in a Hypersexualized Age
AUTHOR: Jonathan Grant
PUBLISHER: Grand Rapids, MI: Brazos Press, 2015, (256 pages).

What images does the word "sex" brings to mind? Are they positive images of beauty or negative pictures of filth? Are they from respectable publications or is it from erotic tabloids? Do Christian publishing houses talk often enough about sex and sexuality matters, apart from abstentions, avoidances, or sexual addictions? Not often enough, which is why this book aims to bring back the beauty of sexuality and how the world at large needs a vision of God's creation, something Jonathan Grant calls, "Divine Sex." The world we live in unfortunately have inundated us with corrupted images of what was meant to be good into something that represent all things wrong. Grant calls it "hypersexualized age" where sex and love are confused with personal preferences and sexual objects for self-gratification. Even churches stayed silent on many matters on sex. Maybe it is due to ignorance, or probably it is due to fear of negative pushbacks by a society that is bent on insisting upon their own ways. Grant asserts that we as a Church need to "catch up," "to understand the needs of this generation as it deals with the brokenness and fragmentation of modern sexuality." Based on this recognition, Grant goes on to tackle these key questions.

"Counter Culture" (David Platt)

TITLE: Counter Culture: A Compassionate Call to Counter Culture in a World of Poverty, Same-Sex Marriage, Racism, Sex Slavery, Immigration, Abortion, Persecution, Orphans and Pornography
AUTHOR: David Platt
PUBLISHER: Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House Publishers, 2015, (288 pages).

We are living in a culture where popular opinion speaks louder than truth. So says pastor and author of this new book about countering the cultural forces and principalities of today. Without guidance, many Christians are unwittingly letting their silence be a sign of weakness that they are indifferent to the major social issues of today. In fact, Platt takes to task those Christians who are lopsided in their lobbying, shouting on some issues but ignoring other equally if not more important matters. Sometimes, when Christians are being slammed by non-Christians for taking a biblical stand, the rest of the Christian community remain largely silent for fear of being slammed as well. In preferring to take a nonchalant posture, one asks where then is Christian conviction? Where is the courage to speak up? Where is the compassion to work through those victims of social injustice?

The nine issues highlighted are poverty, same-sex marriage, racism, sex slavery, immigration, persecution, abortion, orphans, and pornography. On Poverty, Platt was shocked to see the seriousness of cholera, and other debilitating diseases that the poor were unable to get treatment due to the lack of money. Contrast that with the wealthy part of the world that seems to turn a blind eye to the needs of the poor. The gospel is clear. We are called to do our part to distribute and share the wealth we have with those in need, and not to hoard it for our own consumption. For God, through Jesus has been extravagant in his time and care for the poor and needy. Why are we not following Christ's example? We are then called to live simply, give sacrificially, help constructively, and invest eternally. On Abortion, we need to avoid seeing it as a political issue but a biblical one. For life is sacred. Platt calls abortion a modern holocaust where 42 million unborn babies are terminated each year. He claims that abortion is an "affront to God's sole and sovereign authority" as Creator. Who gives man the right to kill? How can we terminate the creation of God in such a manner? Who gives us the right to determine which baby to live and which to die? He tackles some popular objections like free choice, privacy, and selfish motives.

"Stolen" (Katariina Rosenblatt)

TITLE: Stolen: The True Story of a Sex Trafficking Survivor
AUTHOR: Katariina Rosenblatt
PUBLISHER: Grand Rapids, MI: Revell, 2014, (240 pages).

Trust is good. Misplaced trust is not. The former keeps one safe and secure. The latter can trick one into sex trafficking. This is exactly what the author of this book had personally experienced. Having trusted a decent looking lady called Mary, who appeared to be a close confidante, a good friend, and a helpful samaritan, she was eventually manipulated, deceived, and her innocence stolen from her. With deep honesty about her own perceptions and urgency to let her story heighten the need to be careful with strangers, Rosenblatt traces her childhood story where she was unwittingly "groomed for the life of sex trafficking" at a tender age of 13. With Mary, Rosenblatt felt treated with respect, with love, and with dignity. Unfortunately, she failed to pick up signals along the way, falling into the trap of being chosen. Her need for a loving dad was falsely met by tricks and traps. Gradually, she entered into a spiral of drugs and deceit. Unlike some stories where girls are captured and forced into sex slavery against their wills, Rosenblatt's story highlights a different kind of deception that makes victims go back willingly to the perpetrators. Why? Answer: Drugs and misplaced trust. The cycle is horrendous. She needed money to feed her drug habits. She obtains money through sex and in turn needs more drugs to sustain this vicious cycle, willlingly! Her story is also a sad one. Born to immigrant parents who divorced when she was three, her biological dad sexually abused her, and often was violent toward her and the family. She had no permanent place to call home. She was even molested by her babysitter!

"Made in the USA" (Alisa Jordheim)

TITLE: Made in the U.S.A.: The Sex Trafficking of America's Children
AUTHOR: Alisa Jordheim
PUBLISHER: Oviedo, FL: HigherLife Publishing, 2014, (288 pages).

The problem is not overseas. The problem is very much closer to home. In fact, it is right at our backyard! If we do not see the vulnerability of children to sex exploitation, traffickers will anyway. This is the underlying concern that leads to a passionate fight against a global epidemic: Sex Trafficking, Exploitation, and Child Abuse. From Asia to Europe, Africa to the Americas, the problem is the same that cuts across racial, ethnic, gender, and all classes. Right from chapter 1, readers will be shocked by the African, East European, Asian children coerced into the sex trade at a very early age. Gradually, the problem moves closer to home where young girls are lured into the sex industry as pimps and traffickers use their expert hunting skills to rein in the vulnerable. Jordheim does not mince her words. In fact, page after page, the message screams out that the problem is right at our door step, so much so that according to one, the only way to miss out is not to look for it. According to Founder and Executive Director of Justice Society, Alisa Jordheim, there has been lots of attention given to overseas concerns, but little toward domestic areas. She writes with this in mind, beginning with descriptions of the sex trafficking problem far away, and then drawing readers to recognize the problem close by. She highlights the problem in a highly sexualized culture that blurs the line between adults and children, and makes commercializing sex seems ok. She blasts the rise of pornography, the sexually explicit materials in public, loose language, that these simply grooms the local culture to become very similar to what is happening elsewhere. In fact, Jordheim maintains that the problem at home is no smaller than the problem far far away.

"Love Hunger" (David Kyle Foster)

TITLE: Love Hunger: A Harrowing Journey from Sexual Addiction to True Fulfillment
AUTHOR: David Kyle Foster
PUBLISHER: Minneapolis, MN: Chosen Books, 2014, (320 pages).

His father was a preacher. His grandfather too. Yet, in trying to do all the good that they can in the faith that they believe in, sometimes, the successes within the parish cannot be easily replicated inside the family home. Love is needed everywhere, especially for the young. Author David Kyle Foster was a preacher's kid, brought up in a strict religious environment where discipline was strictly adhered to. His friends were scrutinized and even his first passion for a girl had to be put aside due to parental disapproval. Foster was hungry for love in all places, regardless of whether they are right or wrong. He sought out love of affirmation from the home but found it lacking. He sought out love among friends but found it wanting. He tried distractions and diversions like music, movies, drugs, sex, and even suicidal thoughts.

As Foster went to higher education, his encounters with drugs and sex became more intense, especially his homosexual feelings. His search for love then took on a Hollywood dimension where he realized to his dismay that life there is a lot more artificial and self-deceiving. With his personal life still in a mess, his career having moderate success, his search for love from the world soon led him to a dark alley of shame and guilt. He found it hard to make real friends. Soon, he was falling headlong into a spiritual abyss of discouragement, distress, and depression. Spiritual deceptions were plenty. He tried various forms of meditation which promote love and acceptance but left him feeling somewhat empty and conflicted. It was at that point where he felt a supernatural pull toward his Protestant background. Someone or people must have been praying for him. He made a spiritual U-turn. Bible verses came alive. His trip to Israel sparked many illuminating insights about Christianity and Jewish culture. The old in him was dying, and a new was sprouting forth.  Foster's journey for fulfillment and meaning was converging on the person of Christ.

"Love to Stay" (Adam Hamilton)

TITLE: Love to Stay: Sex, Grace, and Commitment
AUTHOR: Adam Hamilton
PUBLISHER: Nashville, TN: Abingdon Press, 2013, (176 pages).

With Valentine's Day just a few more days away, it is rather appropriate to have a book about love, sex, and marriage. It is easy for anyone to locate statistics about how bad the divorce rates are and how many marriages are struggling. There are also negative connotations whenever couples go for marriage counseling sessions, for the assumption is always problematic couples going for counseling together. We all know that the institution of marriage is increasingly under threat. More people are choosing instead to live together without bothering to get married. "It's just a piece of paper." They say. Is it?

Pastor and author, Adam Hamilton says it is more than a piece of paper. Marriage is a calling. It is good. It is a union of two person's all for the benefit of the marriage relationship. Both are counterparts, partners, lovers, helpers, companions, and mutual blessors. It is a relationship that is eros transformed into agape. The mission and vision for marriage is to reach an agape of selfless service, beautiful, profound, and holy. The wedding vows present the reality and scope of such love.

In order to achieve that, five things are necessary. First, both husband and wife are to know their gender uniqueness. It is about selfless living to put the interests of one's spouse to be selfless loving. Marriages are worth investing and worth our time and resources to cultivate. It means building up a healthy "love bank." Second, sexual intimacy protects the marriage. Hamilton notes that the older the couple is, the lesser the number of times they made love.  Plumbing through the expert studies and research journals, he encourages couples to schedule times of lovemaking, see the sex act as part of the mission of marriage, and learn fun and play in the process with each other. Of interest is the link between sexual intimacy and regular conversations. The more couples communicate, the better their lovemaking. This one point is probably worth the price of the book! Third, cultivate good habits that heal rather than hurt. One particular habit is how we speak of our spouses to other people. Do we do so respectfully? Have we done it lovingly? What would we like our spouses to speak of us? Habits do make a relationship. Otherwise, we risk exposing our marriages to temptations. Hamilton suggests five steps to protect our marriage from temptations. Fourth, marriages must be filled with forbearance and forgiveness. In order to make love last, note the behaviours that will turn off our spouses and then refrain from doing them. Recognize the bad habits that irritate and stop doing them out of love. Remember that relationships do not rise or fall overnight due to any one major crisis. Most of the time, the small little issues that build up over time are more fatal. Do an annual marriage review. Make room for honest and healthy conflict. Fight not to break but fight for the marriage. Recognize the "four horsemen of the apocalypse" (criticism, defensiveness, contempt, stonewalling). Pray together. Finally, learn to return to the first love moment in our marriage, just like the biblical truth that urges us to return to our first love. This is another way of going back to first principles. It means returning to what the Bible teaches and then obey them. Learn to say "Thank you" to each other. Learn to pray together.

This book is a nice summary of many popular marriage manuals. Sometimes, I wonder whether we still need another book on marriage. After all, there are already so many books out there. In the light of the many challenges in marriage nowadays, I think the need is greater each day. Marriage is worth writing for. That is why I encourage readers to pick up this book and learn all over again. I like the way Hamilton puts it, especially the part about married couples going for couples only when their marriage is in trouble. The point is, why do we need to wait until a problem occurs before going for counseling? Like a car that needs regular maintenance in order to run reliably, so do marriages. Another point is about the sex component. I find that Hamilton may have spent relatively more time on the physical sex at the expense of stressing sexual intimacy. Yes, the act is important, but the intimacy is also equally important. Personally, I would note that sexual intimacy is more than sex. Itt is different from sex although sex is a component of it. Sexual intimacy means knowing one another, being vulnerable, being open, and naked before the other. It is a special union that is beautiful, profound, and holy. Hollywood and perverted sexual images have marred our understanding of sex and intimacy. Having sex does not mean intimacy for one can have sex without establishing intimacy. At the same time, being intimate does not necessarily mean one must perform the sexual act. I appreciate the way Hamilton suggests ideas and recommendations from the standpoint of those who are singles or still unmarried. It makes this book more inclusive.

This is a worthy addition to one's marriage resource library, but don't just buy it and shelve it. Read it and practice it. For love is here to stay.

Rating: 4.25 stars of 5.

conrade

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This book is provided to me courtesy of Abingdon Press and NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. All opinions offered above are mine unless otherwise stated or implied.

"Loveology" (John Mark Comer)

TITLE: Loveology: God. Love. Marriage. Sex. And the Never-Ending Story of Male and Female.
AUTHOR: John Mark Comer
PUBLISHER: Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2013, (273 pages).

Psychology is about the science of mental behaviour. Theology is the study of God. What about "Loveology?" For John Mark Comer, pastor of teaching and vision at Bridgetown: A Jesus Church, loveology is a theology of love. With sensitivity to the different emotions and relationships, Comer mines the depth of Scripture to flesh out insights about all things love and relationships. Two truths are emphasized here. First, love is beautiful. Second, something has gone wrong. Teaching pastor Comer strings together the major faces of love in modern society and puts them under the scrutiny of these two basic truths.

Comer then applies these truths to five areas of love and relationships. He begins with God and the purpose of the Garden of Eden. Love is about washing one another's feet, a service emphasis. In the Hebrew word, ahava, we learn of a relationship beyond mere affections but friendship. This is powerfully demonstrated in the second area: Marriage. We read of how God has intended for beauty to flourish and the perfection of love in marriage between two persons. No one marries in the hope of breaking up later. "Marriage is humbling," so says Comer. It is not the elimination of problems and challenges in marriage. It is learning to live humbly in spite of each other's flaws. Just like the original love and marriage, sex too has its fair share of beauty and the lack of it. Letting Scripture guides once again, Comer resets our understanding of sex by saying God did not begin with "Don't" but "Be fruitful and increase in number." It is a liberating statement that we are created to be sexual creatures, and sex is not evil. Sex is beautiful and good. One way to celebrate this goodness is the literal reading of the Song of Solomon. The problem comes when sex becomes treated like a kind of god, which then leads to a host of other problems. Problems like pornography, sexual immorality, and promiscuity. When sex becomes a god, adultery becomes more accepted. The fourth area that Comer touches on is romance. Looking at the Song of Solomon, one draws themes of invitation, waiting, dancing, wooing, and playing. Comer addresses the modern concept of dating and says that the Bible has said nothing about dating. It does has something to say about guidance in love. Like the love stories of Moses and Zipporah, Isaac and Rebekah, Jacob and Rachel, and others. It is because marriage is so important, Comer decides to weigh in heavily in this phase, saying that "the right spouse is worth the wait." The Scriptures are full of instructions about waiting. If we have learned to wait for God, everything else is possible. The fifth part is about sexuality, gender, and sexual orientations. This is probably the most challenging of them all. Comer asserts that we are all created either male or female; equal but unique. We need to remember that gender roles have not been tarnished by the fall. The danger of believing that roles are tarnished is the ease in which husbands and wives blame the Fall for things that they are responsible for. He carefully touches on the gift of singleness.