"Practices for Embodied Living: Experiencing the Wisdom of Your Body" (Hilary L. McBride)

TITLE: Practices for Embodied Living: Experiencing the Wisdom of Your Body 
AUTHOR: Hillary L. McBride
PUBLISHER: Grand Rapids, MI: Brazos Press, 2024, (160 pages).

Our experiences do not define us. Our real selves do. Our bodies are not simply what we have but they are who we are. We are more than mere subjective people. We are valued for who we are and not what we do. All that we encounter in this life, the highs and the lows, can all be experienced in the very bodies we have. Unfortunately, many people still have not learned how to appreciate their bodies. In doing so, they fall victim to lies and myths that throw negativity to their physique or biological selves. Lies such as the need to subdue our bodies because they are inherently evil; that some bodies are better than others, or fat bodies are unhealthy, etc. As our bodies get devalued, we become disembodied beings. Disembodiment separates our physical selves from the rest of our mental and emotional faculties. Embodiment brings all of them together. More importantly, we are called not to learn or relearn what our bodies are or represent. We simply need to remember that. These and many more underline the premise of this book, which is to bring back a healthy appreciation of the bodies we have so that we can live well. This also means we need to see personhood in a holistic manner: Emotionally, Mentally, Physically, Socially, and even Spiritually. Besides helping us address lies we tell ourselves, this book also looks at the violence on our bodies, such as stress and trauma; illnesses, injuries, and pain; oppressive forces; self-esteem; etc. 

"Gospel-Centered Marriage Counseling" (Robert W. Kellemen)

TITLE: Gospel-Centered Marriage Counseling
AUTHOR: Robert W. Kellemen
PUBLISHER: Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books, 2020, (272 pages).

For many people, marriage is about love between two persons. For Christians, marriage is indeed about love, but with an additional belief, that marriage is about being united before God. What is marriage from God's perspective? Why must we treat marriage counseling as based on the gospel of grace? Theologically and practically, what does it mean? Unlike books that dish out advice for married couples, this book is about equipping marriage counselors to help married couples. For author and pastor Robert Kellemen, marriage counseling is about helping couples "see their marriage from a larger set of eyes." In fact, he insists that for Christians, it is a no-brainer that marriages are essentially meant to be gospel-centered. So, the author gives us 22 "counseling relational competencies." He suggests that the book be used in a "small group lab setting." For couples, focus not on "solutions" but on "soul-utions." The emphasis is about forming the inner soul. A marriage with transformed inner selves will be gospel-centered. Kellemen tells us the three common approaches to marriage counseling: Family systems; narrative therapy; and solution-focused therapy. All of them have in common the need to understand people; to diagnose the problem; and then to identify the solution needed. Kellemen aims to go a step further than all of these by pointing us to "gospel connection." This is done through facilitating "gospel conversations." 

"Lay Counseling, Revised and Updated) (Siang-Yang Tan and Eric Scalise)

TITLE: Lay Counseling, Revised and Updated: Equipping Christians for a Helping Ministry
AUTHOR: Siang-Yang Tan and Eric Scalise
PUBLISHER: Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2016, (320 pages).

Many like to help but few are adequately trained to help, especially in the area of lay counseling. Most people prefer to leave it to the experts, the professionals, or the trained. Unfortunately, there are many situations in which it is difficult or impossible to get any of the above. It could be due to personal inhibitions or logistical barriers to get the expert. It could also be financial inability or time factors. Some might be willing but lack the training. Others might be trained but lack the opportunity to practice. Many counseling matters do not necessarily require professional help. Just a basic understanding of counseling and initial diagnosis can help channel needy people to the appropriate authorities. In the context of a Christian community, this book sees these cases as a great opportunity to equip the laity. Already a classic since it was published back in 1991, this book is now revised and updated for a new generation.

Like a primer for lay counseling,  the authors begin at the call for all; that being called to be an encourager also implies some levels of counseling and caregiving. Counseling is a big part of pastoral care. However, just the words 'pastoral care' may put off people who are non-clergy. We mught want to simply say 'helping ministry' which is essentially where both Tan and Scalise come from. Experienced counselors and certified psychologists, the authors have a deep desire to move people from superficial levels of help to a deeper more meaningful level. This does not require individuals to have graduate degrees in mental health or some special clergy training. Instead, it gives an introductory appreciation about the basics of counseling and provides tools for the layperson to use. Some of the features in this book include:

"No More Perfect Marriages" (Mark and Jill Savage)

TITLE: No More Perfect Marriages: Experience the Freedom of Being Real Together
AUTHOR: Mark and Jill Savage
PUBLISHER: Chicago, IL: Moody Publishers, 2017, (272 pages).

A real marriage is never perfect. It's simply two imperfect persons walking together toward being perfected. This is the key point of this book about marriage. Written by a couple who had faithfully practiced the popular list of marital advice, they still struggle through their marriages. They had spoken the various love languages. They had been intentional about communications. They have confessed their faith in Jesus and committed themselves to ministry in the Lord. They had worked hard on their relationships, with date nights and all the popular marriage formulas available in the market. Yet, for a period of time, their marriage fell into the pits. As people who have experienced what it means to be broken and humbled, they went through a personal re-education about what it means to be married. As they slowly climb out of their pits, they share with readers the seven fads of marital expectations. All of these have a common feature: They dilute the marriage slowly, by slowly fading hope, joy, and the beauty of marriage. These happen slowly but surely and early recognition could save marriages.

1. Slow fade of Unrealistic Expectations
2. Slow fade of Minimizing
3. Slow fade of Not Accepting
4. Slow fade of Disagreement
5. Slow fade of Defensive Responses
6. Slow fade of Naïveté
7. Slow fade of of Avoiding Emotion

"Healing the Wounded Heart" (Dan B. Allender)

TITLE: Healing the Wounded Heart: The Heartache of Sexual Abuse and the Hope of Transformation
AUTHOR: Dan B. Allender
PUBLISHER: Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books, 2016, (288 pages).

This world is more broken than some of us may have thought. For all the nice commercials and happy faces on social media, there is a hidden world of pain and despair due to shame and abuse. As the saying goes, hurt people will tend to hurt other people. Healed people will help others along their own paths of healing. If that is the case, then there are lots of incentives to be agents of healing. If we want to change the world, we start by touching one life at a time. In order to do this, we need to recognize the wounded and to be empowered to travel the healing path.

Dan Allender is Professor of Counseling Psychology and Former President of Seattle School of Theology and Psychology. Fifteen years ago, he wrote The Wounded Heart which gave many readers the vocabulary and language needed to express their pain of being victims of sexual abuse. This book is a sequel that not only updates the new face of sexual abuse, it also contains more material on what it takes to move from hurting to healing. Using his own pain of being hit by a drunken driver, which left him with permanent scars mentally and physically, he gained a unique perspective of being able to listen into the hurts of those who suffered from sexual abuse. Such abuses include rape, unwanted sexual approaches, molestations, groping, date rape, sex while intoxicated, sexual harassment, and so on. Working with the Allender Center for Abuse and Trauma, Allender has come across many cases of people suffering and struggling with the whole matter of abuse. As the culture and environment changes, the types of abuses also changes.

"A Theology of Biblical Counseling" (Heath Lambert)

TITLE: A Theology of Biblical Counseling: The Doctrinal Foundations of Counseling Ministry
AUTHOR: Heath Lambert
PUBLISHER: Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2016, (352 pages).

Is Christian counseling compatible with secular psychotherapy techniques? Some would say yes. Others say no. When it comes to counseling, most people would accept all kinds of techniques, be it scientific or religious, as long as it works. This pragmatic approach is not necessarily compatible with Church teachings about counseling. For many years, Jay Adams has been one of the pioneers for Christian counseling that is centered on the Bible and dependent wholly on the Word of God revealed. With the rise of psychology and psychotherapy treatments used together with the Bible, more people are preferring to use not only the Bible but modern sciences in counseling approaches. Adams develops ten classic doctrines of the Christian faith before applying them to counseling. Thirty years later, as new scholars, theologians, and teachers rise up from the ranks, we have an updated version by Heath Lambert who raises the bar by insisting that the Bible alone is the full and final word on matters of counseling.  For Lambert, "counseling is a theological discipline." Right from the start, he admits that this is a controversial statement. Throughout the book, the author asserts that theology informs counseling and all matters pertaining to counseling. Lambert's definition of counseling is this: "Counseling is a conversation where one party with questions, problems, and trouble seeks assistance from someone they believe has answers, solutions, and help." The counselee comes with problems, questions, and need for some help. The counselor is supposed to be the agent with answers, solutions, or some ability to help. Believing that secular forms of counseling are never neutral by themselves, Lambert prefers to be upfront on the risks of secular counseling. He critiques "cognitive behavior therapy" that measures success on the basis of emotional well-being. The danger is one becomes a worshiper of self and feelings. He does not minces his words for conservative Christians trying to introduce secular psychology into their counseling practice.  Key to his criticism is the fundamental basis of counseling success: Is it human-centered or God-centered?

"Redeeming Church Conflicts"

TITLE: Redeeming Church Conflicts: Turning Crisis into Compassion and Care
AUTHOR: Tara Klena Barthel and David V. Edling
PUBLISHER: Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books, 2012, (254 pages).

This book is not about Church conflicts. It is about redeeming people. It is about restoring one's focus on Christ. It is about learning the biblical way of becoming a united body of Christ. Based on Acts 15, the authors give readers a 'why' as well as 'how-to' manual for implementing a biblical peacemaking process. As an ekklesia, a called-out people of God, we are warned against submitting to two extremes of the "slippery slope." The first extreme is to escape from conflicts through denial, through flight away from the problem, or suicidal methods that essentially deprives oneself of any reconciliation, and in the process, denying the Church of a valued member. The second extreme is through "attack responses" like assaulting the other party, going the way of litigation that bogs down the entire Church testimony, and in the worst case, murder of one another, especially character assassination. The authors define redemption as follows: "Redeeming church conflict means intentional dependence on the humbling and heart-changing grace of Christ's Holy Spirit by turning relational crisis in the church into compassionate care as you take every thought and deed captive to him" (17).

Barthel and Edling use four core principles to help turn crisis of conflicts into opportunities for compassion and care. The first principle is "perspective," which is to cultivate a clear understanding of who the Church is, and what it means to trust God. This means keeping a firm grip of the ways of God instead of the ways of the world. It means learning to seek counsel from the wise among us and outside of us. It means learning biblical peacemaking resources. It also means honing a sharper focus on eternity purposes, God's attributes of love, and letting them all apply to our actions, our desires, and our deep-seated beliefs.

The second principle is "discernment," which is primarily about being honest with our heart's motivations, and being earnest about conforming ourselves with God's perspectives. This means continued discussion and debate among people in question. Ask about the purpose of our talking. Is it to change others, or to change ourselves? Or is it to be humble to acknowledge we are not as right as we think, or others as wrong as we made them out to be? It also means learning to ask the "best questions," not just the right questions. This requires substantial reframing of every concern into a beneficial, eternal, and most appropriate question. Questions like:

• How does it best serve the people of God, and not personal interests?
• What is Jesus' first priority among many other priorities?
• Is this the best use of the limited resources we have?
• How can we ourselves be changed to think, act, and behave more Christlike?
• Have we listened carefully, fairly, and humbly?
• Have we loved our brothers and sisters the way God wants us to love them?
• Have we become spiritually blinded by self-concerns that we fail to see God's concerns?

The third principle is "leadership" which means recognizing any spiritual idols of self, and learning to lead by providing appropriate responses that are biblical, accountable, and sacrificial. This principle also involves learning to fulfill our God-given duty and not be enslaved by self-love or personal selfish desires. Leadership means caring for the flock, like a Shepherd for the sheep. This section can be really hard to read for leaders, emotionally speaking. It is a chapter for serious self-examination for moral failure, immaturity, failing God's expectations of us, personality differences that fail to honour God, and many more. The authors warn us against four dangerous and harmful kinds of leaders. Failed leadership has often lost sight of the main purpose of being a leader. They adopt a "hired-hand" mentality that forgets the holy duty in favour of one's position and status. They lack leading by example. They have no long term vision. Most importantly, a leader needs to lead by following Christ. This leads on naturally to seeking out accountability to one another.

The fourth principle is "biblical response." Though this has been interspersed among the earlier three principles, this principle has to do more with the whole church, together. It is the summary, the ultimatum of the church. It means confessing to one another our wrongs, our sins, and our unforgiveness. It means forgiving one another unreservedly. It means loving even those, our harshest critics. This fourth principle is demonstrated through overlooking one another's weaknesses, being reconciled to one another, willing to negotiate for the better of the Church, desire to mediate or be a part of the mediation process, and to be willing to be accountable to one another, even to our worst of friends. For more serious, we may need to seek arbitration help.

My Thoughts

There are many goodies and tips to take away from this book. I like the 4Gs of Peacemaking:

1. Glorify God: focus on our purpose
2. Get the log out of your eye: resist judging
3. Gently restore: inner reflection
4. Go and be reconciled: outer action

I also like the frank manner in which the conflicts are approached, like the "slippery slope" responses, the case studies of LCC, and the four promises of forgiveness. The authors do not mince their words when it comes to grabbing the bull of conflicts by the horns.  They know that letting the bull loose is risking the fragile glassware and china in the shop. Once broken, it may never be repaired. The key is redeeming in the light of God's Word, God's love, and God's direction. Far too many leaders say and think all the right ideas, but fail to put them adequately into practice. This book takes away any excuse not to practice forgiveness. It restores the need for us to recollect God's perspective. It sharpens our need for discernment. It increases the importance of leadership by example. It boldly calls for a biblical responses as individuals as well as as a body. Very importantly, conflicts are here to stay, which is why it is critical to cultivate long term character change instead of short-term magic steps. The former grows in loving growth while the latter treats conflict management like a disposable diaper. The problem with diapers is that it forgets that babies poo/urinate all the time. If conflicts are never ending, make sure our works of redeeming church conflicts never end as well.

Peacemaking is not a one-off project. It is a life-long endeavour. As long as sinful people are around, be prepared for conflicts. As long as love is present, there is hope for redeeming church conflicts. As long as we let God be at the center of all our lives, grace will be present abundantly. This book is a bridge to help readers see exactly that.

Rating: 5 stars of 5.

conrade

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"Book has been provided courtesy of Baker Publishing Group and Graf-Martin Communications, Inc. Available at your favourite bookseller from Baker Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group".

"Empty Promises" (Pete Wilson)

TITLE: Empty Promises: The Truth About You, Your Desires, and the Lies You're Believing AUTHOR: Pete Wilson
PUBLISHER: Nashville, TN: Thomas-Nelson, 2012, (212 pages).

This book is a solid example of why Pete Wilson is such a sought after speaker and preacher. With clear headed thinking, supported by a wealth of cultural awareness and biblical foundations, and filled with compassion and love from a pastoral heart, Empty Promises seeks to be convicting but compassionate, people aware but God-centered, insightful and pointed.  The main thesis of his book is that many of us have been deceived by the world, by ourselves, and by what he calls, empty promises of idols.

The first ten chapters touch on what these idols are, how they look like, and what exactly they are trying to do. First, they are deceptively good simply because of the flawed and sinful human heart that gravitates toward the imperfect and the idolatrous. Second, he warns us that the pursuit of empty promises will only leave us emptier than before. Third, he points out five traps that deceive us about the promises of achievement, that there is a kind of success that sets us up for eventual failure. Four, the constant seeking after human approval is in itself an addiction. It sets us up for exhaustion, disappointment, and rejection. Five, power corrupts and will eventually trips us up. (Points four and five are particularly important and applicable for those of us in leadership). Six, the biggest truth about money is that it always want to become more than what it is, and we unwittingly buy into it. The antidote is to learn to give, give, and give, and not allow money a foothold on our hearts. Seven, Wilson warns us about the insidious ways of religiosity that seeks to add expectations on ourselves, to the point that we need to do more in order to be more. Eight, Wilson brings about another kind of addiction, or false promise, that beauty helps us to be more. Nine, we are warned about chasing after a fleeting dream, or a false sense of destiny. Ten, if we continue our chasing after empty promises, we end up becoming the idols we worship.

Thankfully, Wilson reserves two chapters to lift us out of the whirlwind of depressing "empty promises." He goes back to the spiritual disciplines of solitude, fasting, God's Word, and prayer, ending with a warning. These too may become idols in themselves. The way forward is to live the spiritual disciplines with open hands and hearts to God's grace and truth. Once we are able to arrest our idolatrous tendencies toward empty promises, we are ready to be transformed by the Holy Spirit to move from:

• drivenness to dedicated;
• needy to affirmed;
• controlling to surrendering;
• greedy to giving;
• religiosity to faith;
• appearance-based to truly beautiful;
• frustrated with past to trusting for the future.

My Comments

This may very well be Pete Wilson's best book so far. Just like Tim Keller's warnings about counterfeit Gods, or John Calvin's famous declaration about the human heart being an "idol factory," Wilson contributes another needful reminder on our popular culture's addiction to promises that appear promising but ultimately empty in themselves. Through this book, one can be forgiven for comparing Wilson to a modern Ecclesiastes. Wilson's first ten chapters are powerful warnings on the dangerous effects of chasing after these idols, even under the umbrella of good intentions. In every age, every society, and especially in a world constantly seeking after meaning and hope, it is crucial for us to first recognize the empty promises of the world, and to re-orientate ourselves back to the true promises that fulfill. The bulk of the book talks about the dangerous effects and futility of chasing after the world, just like Ecclesiastes's observation of life largely being about chasing after the wind.

After a solid ten chapters, I find the last two chapters a little of an anti-climax. It is like watching a movie, where after grimacing in agony over the exploitations of the villain for the most part, the villain simply disappears into thin air without much fanfare at the final scene. That leads me to suspect that there is a sequel to this book that will fill in needed gaps. Maybe a companion upcoming book to "Empty Promises" will be "Fulfilled Hopes?"

Rating: 4.5 stars of 5.


conrade

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"Book has been provided courtesy of Thomas Nelson and Graf-Martin Communications, Inc. Available at your favourite bookseller from Thomas Nelson".

"Hope for Parents of Troubled Teens" (Connie Rae)

TITLE: Hope for Parents of Troubled Teens
AUTHOR: Connie Rae
PUBLISHER: Minneapolis, MN: Bethany House Publishers, 2012, (227 pages).

This book gives excellent practical tips on a wide range of issues. It aims to bring hope and healing to families struggling with bringing up their children who are moving from adolescence to adulthood. It is common knowledge that parenting teens can be challenging. Instead of approaching the book on the perspectives of why teenagers are treating their parents this/that way, the book focuses on this main question:

"How can I help this child find his/her way?"

This question defines the overall mood of the book. Redemptive. Re-conciliatory. Rewarding. In twelve chapters, the author deals with acknowledging the children for who they are, their idiosyncrasies, the stages of the children's growth, husband/wives and parent/child differences, knowing our teens and our relationship with God, sex matters, peer pressure, communications, rebellion, drugs, and many more. Every chapter contains good practical advice that is not only clear but highly applicable. Even the most difficult issues are not sidelined. Instead, the author writes with understanding and with intentionality.

I appreciate the way the author patiently deals with the 'getting to know your adolescent' through 8 tasks. She then anchors the entire relationship with a nice analogy of how God, parents, and children are positioned. Using the example of Archer-Bow-Arrow, God is like the Archer who determines the direction, the purpose, the strength, and the timing of the activity. The parents help to support the bow by creating an optimal environment for the children to flourish. The children are like the arrows. This reminds me of Ps 127:4 about the joy of having many children like a man with arrows in his hands.

Packed with lots of good tips and parenting advice, this book provides lots of references to the many counseling materials, quips, and wisdom. Most importantly, the ideas in the book are not only enjoyable to read, they are doable. Each chapter ends with some doable activities and a prayer for God to help one accomplish the challenging tasks ahead. The ten guidelines for tackling rebellious behavior is certainly worth the price of the book.

I highly recommend this book for anyone, not just parents. This is because any challenges with teenagers are not limited to parents. Teachers, friends of parents with teens, counselors, pastors, teachers, and students all have something to learn from in this book.

Rating: 4.5 stars of 5.

conrade

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This book is provided to me free by Bethany House Publishers without any obligation for a positive review. All opinions offered above are mine unless otherwise stated or implied.

"What's Next?" (H. Norman Wright)

TITLE: What's Next?: Navigating Transitions to Make the Rest of Your Life Count
AUTHOR: H. Norman Wright
PUBLISHER: Bloomington, MN: Bethany House Publishers, 2012, (240 pages).

This book is about navigating transitions through each stage of our lives. From birth to young adults; from marriage to parenting; from retiring to dying, every stage comes with its different joys, despairs, hopes, and challenges. With skillful hands like a surgeon, the author sensitively identifies the ups and downs of each stage, helping readers to make some sense out of it before presenting suggestions toward making the rest of one's life count. The aim is to lead readers from broken-hearted to healing, from healing to whole-hearted living.

Wright is spot on in his categorization of the three broad stages of life.

1. "I'm Needed by Others" stage which deals with phases of our lives in which we feel useful, independent, and able to give of our energies, resources, and ourselves
2. "I'm no longer needed by others" stage where we experience loss of worth or purpose, as we let go of the previous state of independence.
3. "I Need Others" stage where we increasingly become dependent beings as we grow physically more frail, and move past retirement phase.

The key question that Wright poses to readers of every phase is this: When is it time to "let go of, or start letting go of . .. ?" He begins with the Boomers, where children are showered lots of goodies, and then uses 9 tips from Kay Strom's Second Half Adventures to help readers plan their transitions at a post-Boomer phase. He covers the emotional intensities of parenting, brilliantly integrating Unell and Wyckokk's The Eight Seasons of Parenthood to enable readers to get a sense of their phase. On midlife, he identifies 8 traits of the mid-life crisis, and proposes 5 ways toward constructive perspectives. He asserts that it is very possible to progress positively as parents enter the 'empty-nest stage' of life. As a licensed marriage counselor himself, Wright shines in bringing out pertinent pointers with regards to the second half of marriage. He even have tips for parents encountering the 'Boomerang generation' when their adult kids return to stay with them. There are also chapters for learning to deal with losses, death, remarriage, retirement, aging, and the legacy we can leave. The final chapter is about dying and death, which is not a morbid thing, but taken in the light of hope in God through the Scriptures, it can be a beautiful phase of life.

Closing Thoughts

For a book that is less than 240 pages, this book is extremely dense in terms of practical tips and advice. More importantly, the book shines in its ability to identify key human feelings through each phase of life. It helps readers to make sense of where they are, and to point toward a future tomorrow that is hopeful and helpful. Wright has given us a wonderful resource unique enough for anyone to navigate through each phase of their lives, and common enough in terms of the familiar transitions we will all experience in a matter of time. If you are intending to use this book for many years, buy a printed copy, preferably a hardcover one that you can preserve. Mark it. Highlight it. Read it again and again. Not only will it prepare us to anticipate the various transitions of life, it keeps us looking forward with hope rather than to stumble back to always lament about the 'good old days.' After all, didn't Ecclesiastes warn us:

"Do not say, "Why were the old days better than these?" For it is not wise to ask such questions." (Eccl 7:10)

Instead, ask God to show us the timing and the excitement to ask: "What's Next?"

Rating: 4.5 stars of 5.

conrade

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This book is provided to me free by Bethany House Publishers without any obligation for a positive review. Opinions furnished above are mine unless otherwise stated.

Book Review: "A Good and Perfect Gift"

TITLE: Good and Perfect Gift, A: Faith, Expectations, and a Little Girl Named Penny
AUTHOR: Amy Julia Becker
PUBLISHER: Bethany House, 2011, (237 pages).

This is a touching memoir of a family living with a girl named Penny. Based on journals and reflections from October 2005 to August 2008, the author shares her spectrum of thoughts and emotions about conceiving her first child, receiving a shocking diagnosis, and living out a rich relationship with Penny.

Penny has Down's syndrome. She has something that the world typically calls 'retarded' or 'mentally challenged.' Let me use the metaphor of a showering process. In the struggle toward acceptance, the author and her husband initially bathe themselves with questions God both theologically and emotionally. They allow many well-intended friends and relatives to lather in their opinions of how best to see and take care of Penny. At the same time, medical professionals continue to guide them, brushing them with various therapies and tests on Penny. Gradually, the couple learns to accept that Penny, warts and all, is truly a gift from God. As they let God bring them into God's fuller perspective of life, they slowly and surely experience the showers of blessings from God, that with or without Down's syndrome, Penny is still their gift from the LORD. It takes the love of God to wash away our preconceived ideas and misguided sense of what 'normal' is.

"Penny wasn't a perfect child. Neither was William. We weren't a perfect family, and we never would be, at least not by the standards I would have set out for us years earlier. But we were coming close to our telos, our true perfection, because we were learning what it means to be human, what it meant to be whole." (237)

The journey to acceptance is long and sometimes arduous. Beginning with the pregnancy and the prognosis, readers are invited to journey with the author through the ups and downs of the thought of a Down's syndrome child, how the world will react, and how parents will need to cope. The struggle is hard. The fears make it harder. Such a process is eased with the counseling groups and advice available. The journey to acceptance begins not with a medical breakthrough but a spiritual promise: "Whoever receives this child, receives me." The final stage of the book ends with simply 'Just Penny.' No more. No less.

This book is less about a girl with Down's syndrome but more about the external responses and the inner struggles the rest of us have surrounding the presence of a person deemed 'abnormal' by most of the world. Everyone of us are more imperfect that we believe. Through this book, it reminds me about how God teaches us how imperfect we are through a 'good and perfect gift.' In this light, I appreciate how the author hones in on the very human person in Penny, that whatever the Lord has given, let none of us tarnish the good gift through our selfish perspectives. The best part of the book is this. For many of us, it takes someone that the world easily brands 'imperfect,' 'retarded,' or 'disabled' to teach us what it means to be human. Perhaps, through such people, we may soon realize that those of us deemed 'normal' are actually the more abnormal people. Perhaps, they reflect less of how beautiful they are, but how ugly we all are. Most of all, they teach us that God loves us as we are. Period.


Ratings: 4.5 stars of 5.

conrade

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This book is provided to me free of charge from Bethany House Publishers without any obligation for a positive review. The opinions above are mine, offered freely for the benefit of the wider reading audience.

Book Review: "Equipping Counselors for Your Church"

TITLE: Equipping Counselors for Your Church: The 4e Ministry Training Strategy
AUTHOR: Robert W. Kellemen
PUBLISHER: Philipsburg, NJ: P & R Publishing, 2011, (445 pages).

This is a handbook on doing church as a team. Like what gurus used to teach at leadership seminars, that if we want to go fast, go alone. If we want to go far, travel as a team. This book begins with that premise. It is filled with ideas and plans for the equipper to equip others for a very important ministry. The author makes his powerful introduction with the story of a one-man operated TV show (Milton Berle) and a team based approach (Ed Sullivan). While the former is concentrated solely on what Milton can produce, the latter allows for different contributions from various individuals. The result is stark. Milton Berle's show ends prematurely. The Ed Sullivan show survives so long that even when the host retires, the concept remains. The 4E training ministry is essentially this:  "Passing the Baton of Ministry."

Briefly, the 4Es comprises four laps:

1. Envisioning God's ministry - Core values
2. Enlisting God's people for Ministry - Connected People
3. Equipping Godly Ministers for Ministry - Coached People
4. Employing/Empowering Godly Ministers for Ministry - Comprehensive Strategy

In Part One, the key idea is that the work of the Church is much more than mere counseling. It is in catching God's vision for the whole church, to examine the spiritual health and fitness, and then to develop the MVP-C (Mission, Vision, Passion, and Commission) statement. It leads to a practical exercise to craft together a specific identity statement for the Church in the light of God's will.

In Part Two, the key idea is to be united toward a team purpose. This is best done by cultivating a climate that encourages transformed lives, enable change processes through wise change management, and restoring relationships through conflict resolution that is biblical. With the setting of the cultural climate, members are urged to see one another as ministers for God, to call each other for service, and to help one another match gifts to tasks.

Part Three is about the Equipping using the 4Cs (177).

• "Content/Conviction: head/knowing - how to change lives with Christ's changeless truth
• Christlike Character: heart/being- how to reflect Christ
• Counseling Competence: hands/doing - how to care like Christ
• Christian Community: home/loving" - how to grow together in Christ

Part Four talks about implementation of all that has been taught. This stage is where many fail to complete. It is at this stage where the ethical and legal considerations have to be wisely understood and practiced. This requires good administration and organization on the one hand, and execution of principles and practices of ministry on the other.

The book ends with a list of useful appendices ranging from best practices churches, to models and frameworks familiar to many strategy exercises. There is even an appendix on Church discipline.

Closing Thoughts

This book is a huge collection of useful ideas, plans, frameworks, and is suitable for Church envisioning, equipping, and empowering. The best way to use this book is not to read it like a novel. Use the framework to cast out an overview for all the members of the church. Then be selective about what is most appropriate for your church setting. The ideas are many, but not all are suitable for any church at the same time. Discernment is key. This calls for an important step: Understanding ourselves and God's purpose for the Church first!

Kellemen's teaching passion and wisdom is evident. His experience is wide, and his knowledge deep. Obviously, the material is compiled from his many years of teaching and ministry. If I have a critique, it is the size of the book. For all its great advice, some readers may be put off due to the lack of time to read, let alone to even read it. Thankfully, the authors summarizes the book chapters well at the beginning, and helps the reader along with very creative use of mnemonics. The best way to use this book is with a coach or a trainer, lest readers and practitioners miss the forest for the trees.

I recommend this book for Church leaders, boards, and anyone in the congregation who is passionate about equipping the called.

Rating: 4.25 stars of 5.


conrade

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This book is provided to me free by P&R Publishing and NetGalley without any obligation for a positive review. The comments above are my free contribution to the book review and reading community.