"The Negativity Remedy" (Nicole J. Phillips)

TITLE: The Negativity Remedy: Unlocking More Joy, Less Stress, and Better Relationships Through Kindness
AUTHOR: Nicole J. Phillips
PUBLISHER: Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books, 2020, (176 pages).

In a broken world, how can we create more joy, less stress, and better relationships? How can we identify the negativity in us that threatens to create more negativity outside? Beginning with a confession of her own tendency toward meanness, author Nicole Phillips invites us to battle own own "inner meanie" and to put on kindness. Avoid the trap of thinking that the world is against us when it is simply this means deception within us that is saying that. Essentially, this book is about turning over a new leaf in terms of our own behavior. We might not be able to change other people but we can definitely change our own selves, especially on how to respond to any circumstances. We can curtail any tendency to be mean and to cultivate our ability to be kind. How do we do that? That is the main purpose of this book.

Phillips learned personally the power of kindness and how the capacity for kindness will never be exhausted. For those who finds that incredible or hard to believe, Phillips recommends that we learn to do some soul searching to discover the inner meanie in us. Nip that in the bud and we should be on our way to kindness. She gives scientific evidence on the benefits of showing kindness, how it releases feel-good chemicals in our body: Endorphins, Serotonin, Dopamine, and Oxytocin. We can say yes to the positive via six ways of attracting more kindness in our lives. We can say no to the negative also through six ways. We need also to differentiate between showing kindness and not letting others take advantage of us. She also reminds us that kindness is more about treating others rather than satisfying our own needs. Start our journey of kindness at home. Good things need to begin at home. Then move a level higher by learning to be kind to those who annoy us; and then to people who have hurt us. Phillips treads this path carefully knowing that it is not only difficult but tricky. Relationships are never easily fixed. That said, it is better to cultivate good relationships when they are good. Don't wait until the relationships go south before taking action. 

My Thoughts

It has been said that life is difficult. With the current global pandemic, it is getting more challenging each day. Even though this book is all about kindness, it is not a magic formula to solve all our problems. It is simply a way forward for us to grow into more joyful people each day, one act of kindness at a time. There are people who believe in random acts of kindness. As far as Phillips is concerned, kindness is never random but intentional. This is important for three reasons. First, we are social people, and relationships form a core part of our belonging and identity. Even the most individualistic person would need to interact with people at some point in time. Things like basic government services, healthcare, mailing assistance, technical support, etc, all require people to man, to maintain, and to manage. Computerized helpdesks and general information booths can only do so much. Even the most comprehensive manuals would have a number or contact information for people to reach a live person for help. Since we can never avoid meeting people, unless we live in a cave in the desert, why not prepare ourselves with an arsenal of kindness.

Second, kindness needs to be practice with regularity. When that happens, we can make it into a good habit that will come naturally as time goes by. For instance, the six ways of saying yes to positives, and the six ways of saying no to negatives provide us ample opportunities to put kindness into practice. After all, life is full of ups and downs. The good news is that whether it is up or down, we can still practice kindness, albeit in a different manner. This is where this book comes in handy. With wide-ranging methods and examples, Phillips shows us the world of opportunities that we can be kind. 

Finally, we all need a little more love each day. Money may be said to make the world go round. It is love that will make relationships whole. Kindness is an attribute of love, described in the famous list of the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5. Love is a choice. Kindness is a choice. When we are in doubt, be kind. More importantly, kindness will beget kindness. Spread the love. Spread the kindness. Maybe, we can start a movement of changing the world one kind act at a time.

Nicole J Phillips is a breast cancer survivor, host of The Kindness Podcast program, a regular guest on Hallmark Channel's Home & Family Show, and the author of books about kindness. This is her third book. She lives in Aberdeen, South Dakota with her husband and three kids.

Rating: 4.25 stars of 5.

conrade

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This book has been provided courtesy of Baker Books and NetGalley without requiring a positive review. All opinions offered above are mine unless otherwise stated or implied.