"Diary of a Pastor's Soul" (M. Craig Barnes)

TITLE: Diary of a Pastor's Soul: The Holy Moments in a Life of Ministry
AUTHOR: M. Craig Barnes
PUBLISHER: Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Academic, 2020, (240 pages).

[Update Correction: This is a fictional account of the life of a pastor. The review should be read as that. Thanks Craig!]

What goes on in a pastor's life? For most people, they tend to see the pastor praying or preaching on stage every Sunday. They don't really know what happens on the other days. While most people would describe their lives as being defined by some crisis or sensational event, the challenge is to learn to pay attention to the ordinary. This is where pastor Craig Barnes manages to share with us, his daily ordinary work in the midst of a busy ministry. In this book, Barnes shares wittingly often with humour about his life as a pastor. 

Right off the bat, he recalls the challenge of dealing with older parishioners who are resistant to change. Some tend to view God's mission in terms of preserving the "temple," such as physical assets like building, structure, facilities, and so on. He understands what it means for pastors to serve anonymously and faithfully. His sharing about his own wife would easily debunk anybody dreaming that pastors' wives are perfect! I believe pastors appreciate that others not put their spouses on the "holier-than-thou" pedestal. Only God is holy. I appreciate how Barnes differentiate "expectations" from "expectancy." The former presumes some intention that is somewhat negative, while the latter removes all such presumptions and be ready to listen. He talks about the reality of loneliness where it is hard to distinguish between pastor and friend with a member of the Church. His sense of calling is essentially about serving all, regardless of whether they are for or against you. His sharing about Mac the custodian is a touching story of how people of good intentions clash with one another, and how there is that need for forgiveness and redemption in a broken world. 

What is most  interesting is in his interactions with people, how he deals with the different expectations from them about what pastors should be doing. Clearly, while pastors shepherd the flock, they are not there to pander to every kinds of requests. Barnes writes about him mentoring others as well as the need to be mentored by someone. For the latter, it is more like lending a listening ear to the hurts of a pastor. He shares openly about his journey through cancer and the importance of learning to interact with people struggling with the same kind of issues. Between being a cancer patient and a pastor, his calling as pastor comes first. 

My Thoughts

Firstly, I appreciate how the author reminds us that ministry must be based upon a constant and regular dependence on the Good Shepherd. Learn to be like the sheepdog who is always listening to the promptings of the shepherd. This listening is about attending to the essential rather than the frivolous needs of the congregation. As ministers trained and equipped with lots of skills and knowledge, it is tempting to try to do ministry based on our own wisdom and strength. The age-old advice is crystal clear: In order to shepherd well, we need to be shepherded ourselves. Pastors can only do their jobs well if they know where the source of strength and motivation comes from. Ministry is not about money, less about fame. It is about learning to deal with routine and the ordinary events of life. If one seeks adventure and excitement, do something else. This is about faithfulness, where just as God pays attention to the ordinary person, we need to do the same, as ministers in Jesus' Name. I like the way Barnes challenges us "not to rise above the ordinary routines but to find the holiness in them." That is worth the price of the book!

Secondly, it takes a pastor to know what a pastor is going through. This book drives home a lot of unspoken emotions in the hearts of many pastors. It is one profession that only a pastor can really understand. One particularly poignant example was Barnes's encounter with a young member who complains how he has been hurt by the church. Barnes on reflection shares this gem: "The church hurt his feelings? So what? The church hurts my feelings almost every day. At its best we're a community of flawed sinners whose aspirations are higher than not hurting each other, but along the way we inevitably do exactly that." Somehow, this strikes a chord. Pastors tend to live with a weight of expectations that pastors are unable to carry. They are not superhuman persons. They are flesh and blood who are as vulnerable as any parishioner out there. Yet, by these expectations, pastors are judged and left to carry the blame on behalf of the rest of the church. Everyone will disappoint someone eventually. Pastors are not immune from that. It reminds me of the need to constantly forgive one another as Jesus has taught us. Anyone who refuses to forgive have forgotten that all people including make mistakes. 

Finally, Barnes reminds us how important it is to have spiritual friends. The importance of forming relationships with likeminded people should never be underestimated. We need people who are able to journey with us in the marathon of ministry. No man is an island. The pastor should never do ministry alone, even though much of the work is often done alone. What is necessary is to work on the loneliness of the soul. At least two thing are necessary. First and foremost, this loneliness can only be met by God alone. The long road of ministry is never meant for one to travel alone. God has promised to be with us. Sometimes, we feel as if we are alone. These are times in which we need to pray and to seek the Lord more. This is the main reason why pastors ought to be prayer warriors first and foremost. Out of this prayer life comes the vitality of a nourished soul. Studying the Bible is important. Performing pastoral care is necessary. That is why we need to examine and renew the source of the motivation to study and the motivation to care: Our personal relationship with Jesus. The second thing comes as a direct offshoot of the first, to let someone else walk with us. This could be our good friends, spouses, or even a distant mentor. Fellow pastors from another church are also good choices. 

I highly recommend this book for all in ministry.

M. Craig Barnes (PhD, University of Chicago) is president of Princeton Theological Seminary in Princeton, New Jersey, where he also serves as professor of pastoral ministry. He previously taught at Pittsburgh Theological Seminary and has pastored several churches. Barnes frequently speaks and preaches across the country, writes regularly for the Christian Century, and is the author of numerous books, including Searching for Home, When God Interrupts, Sacred Thirst, Hustling God, The Pastor as Minor Poet, and Yearning.

Rating: 4.75 stars of 5.

conrade

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This book has been provided courtesy of Baker Academic and NetGalley without requiring a positive review. All opinions offered above are mine unless otherwise stated or implied.