"Signals" (Cherilyn Orr)

TITLE: Signals: How Brain Science and the Bible Help Parents Raise Resilient Children
AUTHOR: Cherilyn Orr
PUBLISHER: Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House Publishers, 2022, (224 pages).
 

What is the connection between brain science and child development?  Can this help us in parenting our children? If so, how much? How does stress affect children's behaviour? Based on her learning from "The Spotlight Approach" ministry, author Cherilyn Orr shares powerful insights about how brain science can help us in our parenting. Using the Red, Yellow, and Green colour method, we learn about what it takes to move from an aggressive and chaotic red to a calm green. This has benefits not only for the individual parent or child but also for the whole family. Recognizing signals from the brain is a big step up toward greater understanding. At the same time, being aware of a brain's neuroplasticity helps in reminding us about acceptance and healthy tolerance. Orr describes the different parts of the brain and their functions to give us an overview of their operations. She then goes on to describe the different colour signals used. Red Brain means there's anger and overwhelmed state of emotion which requires parents to stay calm and gentle. Yellow Brain means the child is in a state of irritability and parents should then slow down and focus on connecting with them, to make them feel valued. Green Brain signals readiness to learn. By becoming effective brain detectives, parents will then be able to adjust their parenting strategies and emotions accordingly. Following that, readers will get to dig deeper into the purposes, the processes, and the parenting strategies associated with each of these signals. In learning to be a "brain detective," we ask questions like:

• What do we see?
• What are we feeling?
• What the child is feeling?

Recognizing different feelings helps us discern the colour of the brain, which subsequently guides the way we respond to each of these feelings. Orr shows us how God models biblical attachment, on how we could connect to our children through each phase. She also shows us the needed responses during transitions between colours. Recognizing that the family is a central place for spiritual formation, this book is particularly relevant for parents wanting to bring up their children with scientific awareness and biblical obedience. 

My Thoughts

Parenting strategies have evolved over the decades. For many baby boomers, they remember the general fear-based upbringing that if we don't behave, there will be consequences. Using the famous teaching from Proverbs, that if we spare the rod, we will spoil the child, baby boomers who bring up their children will tend to expect rule-based obedience. Fast forward a few decades and we see how parenting moved toward more self-esteem affirming. At the turn of the century, with rising Internet connectivity, social media, the rise of Internet predators, and cyberbullying, many parents are gravitating toward protective strategies. As one who has experienced a wide range of parenting environments both personally as well as through her interactions with vulnerable children, author Cherilyn Orr opts for a combination of science, childhood development, modern parenting resources, and biblical wisdom to guide us in holistic parenting. In many developed countries, there is a gradual shift from traditional on-the-job preventative strategies to helicopter-parenting forms of protective strategies. Such strategies often began from a position of fear and worry. Instead, this book takes us away from ourselves toward wise discernment of the context of the child. Many books on parenting begin with how well-intentioned parents wanted the best for their children. They focus on what parents want and do for their children. Learning to understand children from their point of view tends to be less common. This book shows us the way to let the recognition of each signal guide our responses. The picture on the book's cover is a giveaway in terms of what the book is about. By showing us how to recognize these brain signals, parents will then be able to adjust their strategies accordingly. 

This book is not a scientific manual but an application of some of the scientific findings the author had personally encountered through her ministry to children in Uganda. It has impacted her and her team so powerfully that she has shared these in this book. Some critics might argue about the relevance of Uganda to contexts in other parts of the world. Well, they might argue based on geographical and cultural differences. However, parenting is a lot more universal than geographical locations. Common themes of caring, sharing, coaching, connecting, disciplining, instructing, etc, are all common themes that transcend many cultures. The languages may differ but the importance of parent-child relationship is similar. If you are looking for a parenting book that combines brain science and biblical principles, this book is definitely a primer to consider.

Cherilyn Orr is director of "The Stoplight Approach," a ministry that aims to create safe places for vulnerable children. She is also an adjunct professor at Vanguard College in Canada. 

Rating: 4.25 stars of 5.

conrade

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This book has been provided courtesy of Focus on the Family, Tyndale House Publishers and NetGalley without requiring a positive review. All opinions offered above are mine unless otherwise stated or implied.