"Listen, Listen, Speak" (Jay Y. Kim)

TITLE: Listen, Listen, Speak: Hearing God and Being Heard in a Noisy World
AUTHOR: Jay Y. Kim
PUBLISHER: New York, NT: Faithwords, 2024, (256 pages).

We want to be heard and understood. More often than not, people tend to mistake one for the other. In this social media culture, visibility is often linked to those who can speak the loudest, share the most, and attract the most attention. That is not always true. In fact, once the dust settles, we can see that there is more than meets the eye. Our world tends to be filled with all kinds of noises. Many clamour for attention but few bother to listen. In a wonderful push-back against the temptations of a noisy world, author Jay Kim has written an important book about learning to listen doubly hard before speaking. He calls us to distinguish "clarity" from "volume" by saying: ".. loudness often grabs our attention, it’s clarity that holds our attention. Grabbing attention is transactional. Holding attention is relational." Wise words. Listening is a key spiritual discipline. Elijah practices it. Jesus lives it. We are all called to do the same. Unfortunately, there are many barriers to listening. The author begins by helping us take down these barriers.

In Part One, he shows us the pitfalls of the lack of listening. With the rise of fake news and the malicious use of AI technology by scammers, we all need to learn the basics of discernment. The ability to listen well is essentially a way to meaningful prayer, which is about listening to God's voice. Otherwise, we not only risk being misled by the world, we risk reacting more from individualism and selfishly putting our own interests above others. Using many stories from the past and the present, Kim points out the follies of human predictions based on worldly standards, the futility of social media fame, and the tendency toward rapid uncontrolled outrage. Only true humble listening can we practice helpful speaking. Part Two shows us what that looks like. Kim shows us the "Why," "How," and "Where" in speaking. In the "How," he points out the need to be mindful of our gospel responsibility. When believers speak, they are instruments of the gospel. Good news is more than social justice. It is a call to others to listen to the voice that speaks eternal truth. We speak as voices of God. The two phrases that often help reduce outrage and vitriol are "I'm sorry," and "Tell me more." These five words are most helpful in a noisy world, which are covered in greater detail in Part Two of the book.

Part Two begins with the "Why" of speaking. Using the five words mentioned above, we are mindful of choosing helpful words when speaking, to overcome all manner of evil with good.  We overcome the common social media tendencies toward anger, vitriol, and skepticism. For we speak as agents of good news, of a gospel that the world needs to hear. We speak not to win arguments but to save souls. This is a big distinction. The former is about winning while the latter focuses more on spreading the good news, regardless of arguments. Gospel people do not simply comment or critique. They communicate with love and a desire to change society for the better. In the "How," Kim guides us through speaking biblically. While many Christians would deem such an attitude acceptable, there are those who would consider biblical counsel as "offensive." Using a seemingly innocent tweet from Tim Keller about the most important thing is to read the Bible through at least once a year, Kim notes that not all would see such an advice kindly. One David Dark even calls such a tweet as "violence!" To each his own we may say, but Kim also points out an important Truth: The Bible is inherently "offensive" to a world of sin. Chapter 7 is about the "Where" of speaking. Here, Kim looks at the challenge of speaking in the midst of a "placeless age." In a transient economy, we are increasingly feeling a need for home. In such an environment, two things ultimately suffer: Belonging and Community. With the move to online world, this is becoming more common. This chapter is worth the price of the book as it deals with an underlying problem about the rise of hostility and a subsequent loss of community in an online world.  He also gives us five ways to speak online, ranging from a simple task of listening, to a deeper part of revealing hidden hurts. 

My Thoughts
What are the barriers to constructive online interactions? How do we relate better online? How can we communicate more effectively as a people of God? How can we respond biblically in a godless world? What are the changing contexts that we need to know in modern communications? These questions are all dealt with in this one book. The basic advice is to be quick to listen and slow to speak. In fact, this book could easily be adapted as a sermon series on deeper listening and better speaking. Let me share three thoughts about this book.

First, it is an important reminder about our tendency to speak off the cuff in a way that increases anger, vitriol, and skepticism. This is something that social media platforms are dealing with in a daily basis. Many people have had their comments or postings banned from FaceBook, Google, Reddit, Twitter, etc, because they had contravened the "terms of use" by the various platforms.  Online rage is everywhere. We all know the divisions happening politically and social circles when discussing about different points of view. Even an innocent click on the "Like" button could degenerate into all kinds of abuses. By learning to listen first and to study the contexts before replying, one can reduce the tendency to add fuel to fire.  The title of the book emphasizes this tip. Like having two ears and one mouth, we are reminded of the need to listen doubly hard before speaking.

Secondly, Kim reminds us on our gospel responsibility to participate as salt and light of the earth. It is easy for any believer to become like any other individual in the world, just giving their two cents of comments without due regard to contexts and concerns of the other parties. We are called to be different from the world, and one way of doing that is through constructive participation. Along with this responsibility is the reality of the risks of speaking biblically. When others criticize us for sharing anything from the Bible, remember that it is not us but God they are against. We do not need to feel defensive. God is more than able to defend himself. Winning souls is more important than winning arguments.

Thirdly, I find the wise tips on why, how, and where of speaking highly practical. A key strength in this book is Kim's insights on the background behind each behaviour. In the area of compulsive communications, he notes the inherent militant mode of communication due to misunderstanding and extreme individualism. His antidote is the use of five words: "I'm Sorry" and "Tell me more." This remarkably simple way is more powerful than we could ever imagine. In the area of respecting authority, he points out why there is a trust problem because of the influence of media, technology, and the increase of personal autonomy which renders everyone an authority in themselves. The solution: Community. In the area of boundaries, he shows us that there are many different ways to understand how we relate to one another. There are the spaces of intimacy, personal, social, and public that require us to adjust our way of communicating. Once we understand our own world of boundaries, we can better understand others.

Overall, I am impressed by the clarity of Kim's cultural understanding and his deep sensitivity to the changing society we are in. If we learn to listen doubly hard to what Kim is saying to us in this book, not only could we train our minds and hearts to listen more to God's prompting, we can be guided toward better speaking in general. This book is a must-read in an increasingly online world.

Jay Y. Kim serves as lead pastor at WestGate Church in the Silicon Valley. He is the author of Analog Church, winner of the Gospel Coalition’s First-Time Author Award, and the follow-up Analog Christian, winner of Outreach Magazine’s Leadership Resource of the Year award. Jay also serves on the leadership team of the ReGeneration Project and hosts the Digital Examen podcast and Barna’s Making Space podcast. He lives in the Silicon Valley with his wife, Jenny, and their two children.

Rating: 4.75 stars out of 5.

conrade

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This book has been provided courtesy of Faithwords without requiring a positive review. All opinions offered above are mine unless otherwise stated or implied.