"Thank You. I’m Sorry. Tell Me More." (Rod Wilson)

TITLE: Thank You. I’m Sorry. Tell Me More.: How to Change the World with 3 Sacred Sayings
AUTHOR: Rod Wilson
PUBLISHER: Colorado Springs, CO: Tyndale House Publishers, 2022, (208 pages).

As society becomes more fractured, fragile, and frantic, relationships become colder and more hostile. Without close friendships and healthy relationships, the world is poised to go from bad to worse. Without human relationships, the best technological advances and scientific prowesses cannot lead to human flourishing. This point has been noted by author and clinical psychologist Rod Wilson who observes how the Creator of the Universe singled out the need for relationships through his declaration that "It is not good for man to be alone." In the creation week, the LORD declared everything good and the creation of human beings as "very good." All of a sudden, in Genesis 3, He uses the negative clause to say that as far as companionship is concerned, it is "not good" for Adam to be alone. Instead of mere theories and concepts, Wilson shares many stories to highlight how the three phrases are critical to repairing, restoring, and redeeming our relationships. With a shrewd eye on modern culture and a deep insight into the state of human relationships today, he warns us about the tendencies of people to become engulfed by the cultural rains of "entitlement, victimization, and individualism." He then supplies a new umbrella of hope via gratitude, remorse, and care, respectively. Through stories, he leads us through the whys and the hows of these three actions to "change the world." 

Part One is about saying "Thank You" to turn attention away from ourselves. It keeps us from whining constantly about self-entitlement. Wilson offers reflections from nature, that there are many things in life that are already gifted to us. He shares about his own stay in the hospital after a heart attack about the gift of being healthy. He points out the many examples in society that we can be thankful for. From clean toilets to airline greetings, restaurants to fundraising events, he shows us that gratitude can be applied everywhere.  

Part Two challenges us from within, to humble ourselves and acknowledge our faults and weaknesses. This is particularly challenging because it requires us to see things from another person's perspective. Some people do better with qualified apologies. True remorse will have none of that. We cannot "dance around" the situation and eventually let it slide. That can be permanently damaging. What would make it even more difficult is that our apologies might not elicit a positive response. Wilson also shows us a variety of circumstances surrounding "I'm sorry," something which should broaden our range of applications. 

Part Three opens the platform for conversations. In a world that reeks of individualistic concerns, simply having a conversation can be a powerful way to share and to care. Wilson gives us tips not to talk too much but to learn to listen with understanding. He reminds us about the risk of vulnerability, a price we pay in faith in exchange for developing better relationships. 

My Thoughts

There is a time to make space for others and a time for ourselves. If I were to summarize what this book is about, it would be the creation, the healing, and the expansion of space. The first saying creates the space that could disarm even the most hostile situations. The tone needs to be appropriate otherwise it could be viewed negatively. The second saying heals the space. In situations where people have been hurt, true remorse needs to be felt and understood by the other party. The more prideful the person is, the more difficult it is to apologize. I appreciate the way the author shares a wide range of applications for us to consider and to apply. The third saying expands the space. We need more conversational moments in an increasingly inward-looking society. I get the feeling that the constant cry for more community life is an aching symptom of our individualistic and lonely society. 

Written in quick bites, each chapter is only about 1-2 pages long, ending with a moment for us to "pause and reflect." Just like his lectures and talks, the chapters do not have lots of theological jargon but simple concepts illustrated by real-life events or examples. Like a book of wisdom, Wilson compiles snippets of his life experiences and thoughts into this very readable volume categorized in three helpful ways to relate to people. There is no meaningful life without meaningful relationships. Concluding with the call to love one another, the author has a subtle refrain: Let our life speak.

Dr. Rod Wilson (Ph.D. York) served as President of Regent College from 2000–2015. Originally trained as a clinical psychologist, Dr. Wilson pursued theological training after completing his doctoral work. He has been involved in the field of counselling and consulting for over thirty years and has held various positions at Tyndale College and Seminary in Toronto: Professor, Dean of Students, Vice-President, and Academic Dean. In 2004, Dr. Wilson received an honorary doctorate from Trinity Western University in recognition of his gifts of leadership and acuity of vision.

Rating: 4.5 stars of 5.

conrade

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This book has been provided courtesy of Tyndale House Publishers, NavPress, and NetGalley without requiring a positive review. All opinions offered above are mine unless otherwise stated or implied.