"Full Circle Parenting" (Jimmy and Kristin Scroggins)

TITLE: Full Circle Parenting: A Guide for Crucial Conversations (3 Circles)
AUTHOR: Jimmy and Kristin Scroggins
PUBLISHER: Nashville, TN: B and H Publishing, 2021, (240 pages).

One of the most challenging life events is none other than parenting. Kids try parents in so many different ways. When young, they wear down parents physically. When they get into trouble, they create headaches. When they do not do their homework or necessary chores, the parents would have to either discipline them or show them tough love. When they turn teenagers, their emotional changes could drive parents up the wall. Yet, there are plenty of rewards for bringing up children. They give us joy and lots of memorable moments. Like what Proverbs 29:17 teach us, "Discipline your children, and they will give you peace; they will bring you the delights you desire." Indeed, parenting requires a full range of skills that include discipline, devotion, dedication, determination, and delight. They are given to us for a reason and this reason is to love them well, that they may also love others well. Parenting is not for wimps. Well said. For there are no "fail-safe" methods. Neither are there easy equations to fill or formulas to follow. Most parents learn on the job. They experience the highs and lows. They encounter different behaviors at different times. They frequently need help at critical junctures of their children's growth. The authors of this book are experienced parents willing to share with us a guide to facilitate better communications and conversations with our children. Called the "3-Circles" tool, it helps parents initiate, navigate, interact, and sustain crucial conversations with their kids. 

1. Circle #1: God's Design to remind us that we have been created for a purpose
2. Circle #2: Brokenness to show us how sin had damaged the world and the way we live
3. Circle #3: Gospel that redeems us and gives us hope that the good and righteous life is possible.

Time and again, the authors reiterate that parenting is not a formula but an opportunity to wisely bring up children. If parenting could be reduced to simple "right values, perspectives, and techniques," and together with all the right attitudes, life will truly be much easier. Unfortunately, parenting is like an ocean of possibilities and even the most well-equipped ship will be vulnerable to unpredictable weather conditions. The best way ahead is to stay biblical, remembering the need to acquire and apply biblical wisdom, with God's help. The key emphasis is that we need God's wisdom and Word to guide us, and not become overly dependent on worldly knowledge and human wisdom. The Bible is much better equipped to help us deal with "off-script" moments. Moreover, when we recognize that there are many complexities in life that are beyond our comprehension, it keeps us humble, that we can learn. Relationships are complex, and with people of complex backgrounds trying to interact, the whole combination could be most challenging. The authors then apply this model to various situations surrounding gender, sexuality, marriage, technology, alcohol and substance abuse, friendship, bitterness, and so on. On each topic, we are introduced to God's design, followed by the brokenness because of sin, and the way the gospel redeems. They even share tips on how to deal with people who are not "committed to God's Design." 

My Thoughts
Initially, I thought the book would cover topics on how to parent children and young adults. Gradually, I realize that takes a more apologetics angle, using the three-circles model to explain the need for wholesome conversations. I suppose that is the way it was intended as the book is about "crucial conversations" that parents need to have with their children. The urgency is high because more of our children are exposed constantly to the ways of the world. Anyone who thinks that the Scroggins had overdone their emphasis on the Bible or gospel need to think again. The world has already done more than the same thing in throwing all kinds of information at our children. Take sexuality for example. The government, schools, and many public institutions are telling largely a lopsided view of the sexuality matter. It is high time to take back the mike from time to time to provide our children a biblical perspective. Our children are at risk. With the ease of technology and the increasing autonomy given to young children, the time is short and urgent for parents to teach their kids in the way they should go. Lest they turn away from the Lord. 

Many parents depend on Sunday School teachers at Church to provide Christian teaching for their children. This is a dangerously inadequate approach. Given that our children are exposed to the world almost seven days a week, just an hour at Church once a week hardly seems sufficient. This book equips parents (even teachers) to deal with common topics mentioned above. The authors ask an interesting question: "Will the next generation know God?" Instead of letting our guilt haunt us in the future, parents ought to constantly equip themselves with knowledge and skills to strike up and sustain good conversations with children. This book certainly provides us some good resources to do just that. For the uninitiated, the authors also provide "sample guides" on how we can conduct such conversations. 

One thing that the Scroggins could have expanded on is how to deal with objections that children might pose. The older they get, they would argue, talkback, or even dumb down the Bible. That also means that parents will need to learn not only the what's of conversations but also the hows. 

Jimmy and Kristin Scroggins have been married for 26 years and have 8 children – James (Reilly), Daniel (Mary-Madison), Jeremiah, Isaac, Stephen, Anna Kate, Mary Claire, and Caleb. They have served at Family Church since Jimmy became the lead pastor in July 2008. Under Jimmy’s leadership, Family Church has grown to a network of neighborhood churches in South Florida. The Scroggins family is passionate about Family Church’s mission to build families by helping them discover and pursue God’s design.

Rating: 4.25 stars of 5.

conrade

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This book has been provided courtesy of B&H Publishing and NetGalley without requiring a positive review. All opinions offered above are mine unless otherwise stated or implied.