"Speaking By the Numbers" (Sean Palmer)

TITLE: Speaking by the Numbers: Enneagram Wisdom for Teachers, Pastors, and Communicators
AUTHOR: Sean Palmer
PUBLISHER: Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 2022, (192 pages).

According to the scholar Maurice Nicholl, we all have three "Centers of Intelligence: thinking, feeling, and doing." This is the key concept used in the development of the Enneagram tool, to help us understand more about our personality types and ourselves. From understanding the self, we are reminded of the core essence of life: Relationship and Community. For pastor and public speaker Sean Palmer, the Enneagram is a powerful tool for communications, and more importantly to understand ourselves and how we could play our roles in building the community we are in. Essentially, there are nine ways we could see the world. Yes, that's NINE! It is more than simply a mapping system. It is a lens to help us see what we react to different situations in life. As the saying goes: "We don't see the world as it is, we see it as we are." In other words, we are not what we are but what we see we are. The nine personality types are:

1. The Perfectionist: "What is wrong with the world?"
2. The Giver: "How can I help?"
3. The Performer: "What are my goals and accomplishments?"
4. The Tragic Romantic: "Why is life so disappointing?"
5. The Observer: "What data supports this trend?"
6. The Devil's Advocate: "What if Plan A doesn't work?"
7. The Epicure: "There is always hope!"
8. The Boss: "How do I keep the house in order?"
9. The Mediator: "What can I do to maintain peace?"

The numbers are tied to the personality types, so it is important to know they are not to be used interchangeably. Palmer begins cautiously with a reminder that the knowledge of the Enneagram should be adopted carefully. One must not use it to reduce people to a certain number or fixed type. For these are merely our orientations and do not necessarily lock us in. There are also sub-types that could only be understood over time. We should also not use this tool to hurt others, what Palmer calls "weaponization." Other warnings include the dangers of stereotyping and prejudice. This all reminds us that knowledge must be tempered with lots of wisdom. The author believes that such knowledge, used in conjunction with our communications skills, guided by wisdom can help communities flourish. The title of the book essentially marries the personality numbers with communications. Meant for pastors, teachers, and all types of communicators, it is hoped that by understanding ourselves and our audiences better, we can become better communicators through relatable storytelling. Those of us who regularly speak in front of a group should take heed. 

Chapter One helps us understand what an Enneagram is and how it works. The author creatively explains the stances of thinking, feeling, and doing using a common commercial as an illustration. From none types, Palmer streamlines them into three groups of dominant triads, namely, the Feeling triad (2, 3, 4); the Fear/Thinking triad (5, 6, 7); and the Anger/Doing triad (8, 9, 1). Our stance of moving toward, away, or against reflects our backgrounds and our choices. Every number represents a particular type. Every triad indicates our stances. Every response we make represents our actions based on our stances. The key to the whole book lies in this chapter. Unless one is already familiar with the Enneagram and how it works, readers should take time to go through the material slowly before jumping into any other sections of the book. 

Palmer takes pains to explain how to speak to the individual stances: Dependent, Aggressive, and Withdrawal, using his own stories as well as explaining the different scenarios for us to visualize. 

My Thoughts

Learning the Enneagram is no simple task. It requires not only an understanding of the key concepts used, it also needs regular practice in order to be useful. The author has graciously supplied a list of other resources for readers to learn more about the Enneagram. This helps us appreciate the wider applications this tool can have. Here in this book, the focus is on presentation and giving speeches. The author, being a frequent public speaker has adapted the Enneagram to improve his delivery style and to understand his audience. He is spot on when he says that "speaking is about the hearer, not the speaker." This little paradigm shift makes a huge difference in the way we prepare, plan, and deliver our messages. Incidentally, I am reminded of Jesus' commandment that we ought to love our neighbor. Indeed, this consideration from the hearers' perspective is an application of that command. Using the Enneagram to see that would take some learning and lots of practice. It also requires some shift in thinking. Instead of seeing the different types as strengths or weaknesses, see them in terms of energy. Which is more energy-giving or sapping? The latter is not necessarily a bad thing. We simply need to learn to recognize them and deal with them appropriately, such as rest when we are emotionally spent. 

The chapters on how to approach the different stances help us see how the author applies the Enneagram in theory and real life. He often begins with how he stumbled before ending with some humble advice to share with us. By the way, for those who are new to the Enneagram, it helps to have a "cheat sheet" that lists the nine personality types for us to refer to. Knowing our own Enneagram number(s) helps us know ourselves better. Understanding our audiences' stances of Thinking, Feeling, or Doing help us tailor our messages accordingly. Learning to tell stories well enables us to use different combinations in order to reach a wider audience. In an age of easily available know-how and information on the Internet, people can find their answers quite easily by using an Internet search engine. When it comes to face-to-face communications and how we could reach out and touch lives, it is a different story. If there is one central message to take home from this book, it is this: "Speaking is not about us. It's about our hearers." 

Indeed. We speak best only when we know our audience. Know ourselves. Know our hearers. Know our messaging strategy. The Enneagram is that tool to help us along that path.

Sean Palmer is the teaching pastor at Ecclesia Houston, a speaker, and an executive coach. He is the author of Unarmed Empire and a contributing writer to The Voice Bible. Sean is vice-chair of the Missio Alliance board. He and his wife, Rochelle, live in Houston, Texas, with their two daughters.

Rating: 4.25 stars of 5.

conrade

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This book has been provided courtesy of InterVarsity Press and NetGalley without requiring a positive review. All opinions offered above are mine unless otherwise stated or implied.